Don’t Stop Beliebing: Weird and Wacky Justin Bieber Merch

This twelve-inch doll doesn’t just play a thirty-second clip of the Bieber hit “Somebody to Love”—it also wears a reproduction of the very outfit Justin wore in the video. And it comes with a mini–director’s chair and a locker magnet. He and Miley Cyrus Barbie will make a beautiful couple. ($19.99, Target)

Justin’s line of heartbreakingly cute polishes includes shades like Step 2 the Beat of My Heart, One Less Lonely Glitter, and OMB! This shade, ‘Baby’ Blue, matches his dreamy eyes! ($5.99, ULTA)

It’s pretty safe to say that lots of people think about Justin Bieber while they’re in the shower. ($74.95, Etsy)

Anyone who’s ever read Justin’s autobiography knows that his biggest turn-on is good dental hygiene. Get clean teeth while he sweetly serenades you with two of his hits. ($9.99, available July 2011, Justinbiebertoothbrush.com)

I told you—Justin is really passionate about preventing periodontal disease. The Justin Bieber Oral Care Collection includes toothbrushes (both singing and silent models), floss, flossers, and a travel kit. ($1.99, available July 2011, Justinbiebertoothbrush.com)

Wrap yourself in this cozy plush blanket and imagine that it’s Justin’s arms cuddling you to sleep. ($54.99, Kohl’s)

If your adoration has progressed to the level of stealing used boxers from the trash and fantasizing about whether Justin’s skin would make a good Snuggie, a Justin Bieber wig may be just what you need! Emulate his signature ’do while you creep around his bushes; that way if you get caught, he’ll realize that you’re meant to be together. (Justinbieberwig.com)

This twenty-two-by-seventy-inch cardboard cutout features Bieber at his most Bieberific; it’s perfect for placing at the end of your bed so that his angelic visage is the last thing you’ll see before falling asleep. Or perfect for scaring the crap out of you when you wake up in the middle of the night. ($35, Justinbieber.shop.bravadousa.com)

Everyone will have fun bashing this piñata to pieces with blunt instruments. You might even want to put candy inside. ($24.99, Target)

Because every father dreams of seeing Justin Bieber emerge from his daughter’s vagina. ($20, Kmart)

Make your dream of riding a unicorn with Justin a reality! Just send in a few pics, and the face on that body will be yours. If you want to fulfill all your fantasies and add a Jonas brother to the mix, though, that’ll cost ya. ($40, Etsy)

Mom: This ornament commemorates Billy’s first Christmas, this one we inherited when Nana passed away, this one contains Fluffy’s ashes…
Dad: What’s this one?
Mom: Oh, it’s just some Canadian teenager we’ve never met.
($20, Justinbieber.shop.bravadousa.com)