Growing up, I was never much of a James Bond fan. My parents watched the movies on television, but I just never got interested—until Daniel Craig, that is. One look at that ripped torso of his in Casino Royale and I was hooked. As I was doing some research on Quantum of Solace (read: trying to find more photos of scantily-clad Daniel), I learned quite a bit about some of the other Bonds, and in the process, the Bond girls. I always knew that Bond girls were sexy and brainy, but I had no idea that some of them were so darned dirty … even if only in name.
6. Honey Ryder, 1962
Photo Source: bikiniscience.com
Ursula Andress may have set the Bond Girl-standard in Dr. No, but when it comes to smutty character names, Honey Ryder is a little more late-night Cinemax than some of the other hit-you-over-the-head, porn star names of her fellow Bond girls. No matter, though—a former art model in Rome, Ursula was no stranger to showing off the girls. She did it proudly for Playboy in 1965, as well as for Red Sun, The Sensuous Nurse, and on countless topless beaches around the world. And even though she had a dark period in the early eighties when she made a couple of appearances on The Love Boat, in 1995, she was chosen by Empire magazine as one of the 100 sexiest film stars in history.
5. Xenia Onatopp, 1995
Photo Source: Famke Janssen’s Hut
It was in Bond’s best interest not to have Xenia onatoppa him … or underneath him, for that matter; this nasty little villain, played by Famke Janssen in GoldenEye, crushed victims with her thighs in an infamous scissor-like move. Unlike many of her Bond girl counterparts, Janssen actually went on to get some good roles in her post-007 acting career. In 2004, she was awarded the International Star of the Year for her work on Nip/Tuck, and in 2006, the Hampton’s International Film Festival gave her the Golden Starfish award for career achievement in acting. In 2007, the same Festival awarded her the Special Jury Best Actress Award for her role in Turn the River. But like many other Bond girls, her film achievements didn’t stop her from posing nude; enter “Famke Janssen + nude” into Google and you’ll see what I mean. I suppose those are the stakes for staying on top.
4. Plenty O’Toole, 1971
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In 1956, Lana Wood made her film debut in The Searchers with older sister Natalie Wood. Though the two looked similar, Lana clearly got the bigger end of the deal in the bra-size area. Hugh Hefner took notice of her assets after her role as Sandy Webber on Peyton Place and her nude photos appeared in Playboy in April of 1971, subsequently helping her land the role of Plenty O’Toole in Diamonds Are Forever. (Her poetry was also published in that Playboy issue, which I’m sure contributed heavily to the casting decision.) Even though Lana Wood is still acting today, like most Bond girls, she’s best remembered for her role as Plenty O’Toole. In 1985, she also wrote Natalie: A Memoir by Her Sister, which didn’t go over so well with her family. (Nude photos and revealing memoirs tend to have that effect on families.)
3. Octopussy, 1983
Photo Source: snow370
Like many Bond girls, Maud Adams got her start in modeling. After landing a couple of acting gigs in the early 70s, she was cast as Andrea Anders in The Man with the Golden Gun (1974), and then came back in 1983 to play the role of Octopussy in Octopussy. In 1985, she returned in A View to a Kill as an uncredited “woman in Fisherman’s Wharf crowd.” Though she’s the only person to ever appear in three Bond films and also the only woman to play two different Bond girl roles, you kind of have to wonder: how do you go from the starring role as a woman with a name that suggests you have eight vaginas to an anonymous woman in the crowd two years later? Perhaps it has something to do with her name; Maud sounds a lot less intriguing than Octopussy.
2. Dr. Goodhead, 1979
Photo Courtesy: fluctuat.net
Contrary to what her name suggests, Dr. Holly Goodhead, played by Lois Chiles in Moonraker, was not a medical expert on craniums or oral pleasure. As a NASA astronaut, a CIA agent, and an astrophysicist, Dr. Goodhead is considered by many Bond aficionados to be the brainiest Bond girl ever; unfortunately, Chiles also makes nearly every “Worst Bond Girl” list on the Internet. She re-lived some of her spy-girl glory with a cameo in 1997’s Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, but her part was cut in the U.S. release. Chiles continued acting in mostly uninspired parts, but perhaps best lived up to Dr. Goodhead’s brainiac image in real life when she became a theatre professor at the University of Houston.
1. Pussy Galore, 1964
Photo Source: possumblog
Prior to her role as Pussy Galore in Goldfinger, Honor Blackman’s best-known role was as Catherine Gale on The Avengers. As the second oldest actress to play a Bond girl (she was thirty-four at the time—not exactly what I’d call ancient), Blackman went on to enjoy a long and successful career as an actor, her trampy Bond name doing no damage to her ability to land good roles, mostly in the UK. But certainly no other character she played could compete with a name like Pussy Galore. Still smokin’ today at almost eighty-one, Blackman seems to be one of the few Bond girls who never lived up to her most famous screen name by posing nude, despite various Internet rumors that claim otherwise.
The colorful names in Bond films are merely one of many elements that have made—and continue to make—the Bond enterprise a blockbuster for over forty years. Other spy and action film stars may dazzle fans with their suave abilities to bed beautiful women, but in the end, only James Bond can boast lovers with names as diverse as Pussy, Christmas, and Chew Mee. Well done, 007.
