Every time Forbes magazine releases its list of the richest celebrities, I heave a massive sigh. As if I needed to be reminded that Oprah, Steven Spielberg, Tom Cruise, Simon Cowell, and Madonna are all way richer than I’ll ever be, retiring to their private islands to light their cigars with hundred-dollar bills and dine on fresh caviar and unicorn fillets.
We’re not surprised about most people on the lists of who’s richest or most powerful, but certain celebrities we might not discuss quite as often around the dinner table are earning surprisingly large paychecks, too.
Judge Judy
Former family-court judge Judith Sheindlin often has to lay down the law with unsavory, unintelligent, and unmotivated lowlifes on her daytime legal show, but at least she gets paid well for doing it. In 2007, she renegotiated her contract with CBS, assuring that she’ll be on the televised bench until at least 2013, at a salary of $45 million per year. Considering that the feisty judge regularly trounces other court shows in the ratings and coins phrases like “Beauty fades, dumb is forever,” we think she’s worth every penny.
Howard Stern
Who knew being offensive could be so profitable? After being driven from traditional radio after the Federal Communications Commission cracked down on indecency (thanks a lot, Janet Jackson), Stern was offered a spot on satellite radio, where he could be as lewd and crude as he wanted to be. In 2006, he began a contract with Sirius that would pay him approximately $620 million in cash and stock over five years. The budget for his show does come out of that nest egg, but at the end of the day, Stern is still left with about $70 million per year, which makes him the highest-paid radio personality in the country.
Michael Bay
Vanity Fair’s list of 2009 top earners includes many familiar names, but the director of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen took the highest spot, with earnings of about $125 million. Even though his biggest project of the year was a critical failure, it was still a box-office smash, and because, as producer, he earns a cut of the profits (as well as a percentage of DVD sales, licensing and merchandising rights, royalties, and even toy sales), the cheesy popcorn flick alone earned him an estimated $115.5 million. He also raked in the bucks for producing the remakes of Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street, as well as the film The Unborn. Plus, he earned at least a million bucks or so in royalties and residuals from his previous projects. Without a blockbuster hit in 2010, Bay is unlikely to make next year’s list, but we like to imagine that he’ll ease the pain by swimming through his giant warehouse of money, Scrooge McDuck–style.
