As Seen on TV! Eleven Dumb Products We Secretly Want

Be honest—no matter how much you love your dog, it’s not fun to clean excrement off the pavement. Or pick it out of the grass. Or feel how uncomfortably warm it is in your hand as you carry your plastic doggie bag to the nearest trash can. The PooTrap harness is like the easiest diaper in the world. Luckily, your dog won’t realize how ridiculous it looks. ($29.95 at OfPet.com)

The delightfully unsubtle Snazzy Napper really does address the main problem with sleeping on the go—it’s just so darn bright and noisy. The Napper blocks out the light and gives the wearer privacy for when he starts drooling a bit. We’d have bought ours already, if not for the fact that wearing one may be akin to wearing a sign reading: “Rob Me Now.” ($14.99 at Snazzynapper.com)

I hate dicing onions. I hate mincing garlic. I hate chopping hard-boiled eggs. As ridiculous as the Slap Chop may seem, it is a really, really useful gadget for anyone who cooks regularly. In fact, high-end cookware companies sell similar products for over twice the $19.95 charged at SlapChop.com.

Women hate putting their purses on the floor. As far as we’re concerned, tables and bars should all provide preinstalled hooks. ($7.00 at Amazon.com)

Even after a lifetime of practice, it can be frustrating to fasten jewelry properly. Using the Clever Clasp means never having to beg for a spouse’s help with necklaces or bracelets again. ($9.95 at AsSeenOnTV.com)

As silly as the product looks, making a bed would be a lot easier if you didn’t have to lift up the mattress. This device uses the simple principle of the wedge to make it less strain-inducing. ($19.99 at Solutions.com)

Bloggers, freelancers, and late-night web surfers, rejoice! Now there’s a comfy laptop desk with a personal light, and even a cup holder for your coffee (or your cocktail). There’s a carrying handle to transport the unit, but we don’t understand why you’d ever even leave your bed if you had this. ($19.95 at AsSeenOnTV.com)

We dare you to see them in person and in action and not go out and buy yourself a set. (Seven-piece set: $39.99 at BedBathandBeyond.com)

While the American eating public probably doesn’t need any more incentive to consume fried foods, it’s nice to be able to make some at home every once in a while. This would be an amazing gadget for whipping up Super Bowl appetizers, and fortunately, it wouldn’t take up too much space as it hid in the cupboard for the other 364 days of the year. ($20 at Amazon.com)

I’ve left a trail of desiccated plant corpses in my wake, so ill-equipped am I to take care of them. I am exactly who the Aqua Globes were designed for: people who have better things to do than water their houseplants. ($14.99 at BuyAquaGlobes.tv)

Assuming that a person’s wardrobe is composed largely of cargo pants and hoodies, the EZstringer is a fabulously easy way to rethread drawstrings that get pulled out in the wash. Or for those who don’t have five minutes to do it the ol’ fashioned way. ($10 at EZstringer.com)