Rarely do romantic comedies make us think, never mind liberate us from the Cinderella syndrome. Romantic comedies do not provide us with good relationship advice either. But I watch them. I like sap.
Romantic comedies spell sheer entertainment, a break from reality. These movies take the complexity and messiness out of real love, intimacy, and relationships. They also let us imagine, for 90–120 minutes anyway, that he or she will show up on our doorstep (or on the top of the Empire State Building) at just the right moment—just like in the movies. Or that even when the relationship is doomed, our special person will actually: walk into our gin joint again; or stand outside our window holding a radio playing the song “In Your Eyes”; or run through the streets at midnight to find us at a party and propose—just in time for the New Year of course.
I knew a guy who once said “Chick flicks [romantic comedies] suck because the male lead always makes these unrealistic gestures and so women come to expect it from men in real life.” I don’t agree. But I do think romantic comedies might do more than entertain us. Occasionally these films have a higher purpose. Let’s start with this guy. We’ll call him John.
John was commuting from the U.S. to Vancouver a lot to see his sweetheart (we’ll call her Susan). John and Susan broke up for various reasons. After the breakup John did everything to remove Susan from his memory: he put away or threw out pictures, cards, and anything about her that might trigger any memories. It was too painful. But John could not forget Susan and within a few months something was still nagging him. He just knew he had to give it a second shot.
Enter the influence of “chick flicks.” John boarded a plane for Vancouver and unexpectedly showed up at a fundraiser that he had heard Susan might be attending.
John entered the room, shining in a black tux, a tickle of nervousness in his chest, not knowing if his ex-girlfriend would even be there. (And if she was there with someone new, how was that going to play out?) He spotted her joking around with a friend. In a break in their conversation, John came up behind Susan and quietly said, “You look gorgeous in that dress. But you need an accessory!” She whirled around to look at him, dumbfounded. He took her arm in his and walked to the dance floor.
According to John, it took five minutes for Susan to get her jaw off the floor. When she did, she stammered, “I can’t believe you’re here!” Not exactly a Hollywood line, but then what is? (I personally would have made him work a little harder, but the guy did fly a few thousand miles to see her after all!)
Today John wants Susan to move to the U.S., but she is reluctant. They still have issues to resolve, but his big gesture made a world of difference to her. Suddenly he showed her a willingness to try harder at things. She was touched and as a result became more open with him. John later said, “Sometimes you have to make the big gesture if it’s someone you really want.”
Romantic comedies may only serve to entertain us, but if their imaginative power and big gestures inspire us to let go of our cynicism, be spontaneous, or fly a thousand miles to take a chance on love, what’s the real harm in that?
