I was putting the finishing touches on this article when I heard that the L Word was being cancelled. I’d liked the series—most of my ideas about how to improve the show involved introducing more diversity. I wanted to see some working class issues explored. I wanted at least one character that was not super-skinny, and I would have appreciated the presence and discussion of some body issues. What I wanted most, though, was a real butch character—big and strong, with short hair and an attitude. I wanted a shot of reality thrown into the mix. My original article was academic—respectable for sure, but not that much fun.
When I heard that the show would only be coming back for eight more episodes, suddenly all of my opinions became irrelevant. I am sure the producers know exactly what is going to happen in the last season; they are probably already shooting. So even if my ideas had been good, any changes I suggested would now be pointless.
I was upset for about a minute and then I thought, well, why don’t I do a tribute to the show? After all, the airing of this series was an historical event—it was the first show of its kind. So I started thinking about what made the L Word so remarkable and groundbreaking. Was it a glimpse into lesbian reality? Yes. Did it relaunch actresses’ careers? Yes. Did it show powerful women and shatter stereotypes? Sure did.
But what was really arresting about the show? What kept gay (and straight) people tuning in for the last five years? Then it hit me. It’s the sex. It’s women fucking other women on TV. It’s women doing things to each other onscreen—things that I do and have had done to me. Of course, the show is amazing on many levels, but for me and everyone else I know, it was the sex that kept us gripped to our seats.
So, screw the theoretical deconstruction of the show. I want to celebrate all the juicy, hot sex the gals have given us over the years. In my last tribute to the L Word, I humbly give you my Top Three Sex Scenes of All Time (and one sex scene I wish they would have done!).
#3: Bette and Tina
I have to admit that ever since Tina went out with that guy, she has gotten on my nerves—and so has Bette, for that matter. Both of them just made me—ugh … frustrated. The wounded looks and permanent frowny face from Bette, the irritating victimhood and oblivion of Tina—I didn’t care about either of them and certainly didn’t think I wanted them back together. When they kissed at the party, I was unimpressed. There was no fire, no spark. It didn’t look like a forbidden-kiss-with-your-one-true-love kind of kiss. I shrugged it off.
But then—the kitchen scene. Bette is stirring the food. Tina is behind her. Tina says, “Bette. Turn around.” And she does; and they kiss; and OH MY GOD; Oh my God! Since I own the DVD of this episode (thanks, Showtime), I have played it multiple times and I love it love it love it! Just thinking about it makes me feel all funny in my tummy. The part where Tina flips Bette and (finally) takes control of her is hot, liquid gold. Bette saying Tina’s name is so real, heartbreaking, and raw—I was instantly transported to the time in my life when I finally surrendered to my true love. Sniff sniff—I guess I did want them to get back together.
#2: Helena and Dusty (Okay, Anybody)
I don’t know if it’s the accent or the eyes, but I love me some Helena. Even though she was a rich, snotty bitch when she first came onto the scene, I still liked her. Something was always missing though—I never got to see Helena vulnerable. Sure, she lost her money and power along the way and had to fend for herself, but she still acted as if she were above those around her. I really wanted someone to come along and challenge that. Dylan sorta did, but not in the ball-busting way I wanted my sweet Helena to be brought to her knees. And then we met Ms. Dusty.
