| Artist/Song: | Michael Jackson, “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” |
| Mondegreens: | “I’m a plate of some soggy applesauce.” “I’ma sing my my song, my Michael song.” “Did they say they were from the Yakuza?” “Mama save on the sale of Microsoft.”
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| Actual Lyric: | “Mama se mama sa, mama cu sa.” |
| Artist/Song: | Notorious B.I.G., “Big Poppa” |
| Mondegreens: | “I love it when you feed me fresh pasta.” “I love it when you call me David Copperfunk.” “I love it when you do me in the parking lot.”
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| Actual Lyric: | “I love it when you call me Big Poppa.” |
| Artist/Song: | Pink Floyd, “Comfortably Numb” |
| Mondegreens: | “There is no brain, you are receiving a distant chipmunk on the horizon.” “There is no pain, you are receding, a dish of chips, smoked on the horizon.”
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| Actual Lyric: | “There is no pain, you are receding, a distant ship’s smoke on the horizon.” |
| Artist/Song: | Queen, “Bohemian Rhapsody” |
| Mondegreens: | “The algebra has a devil for a sidekick, eeeeee …” “Beelzebub has a devil for a son named Steve.” “Beetle Bug has the metal mutt dried for me.”
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| Actual Lyric: | “Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me …” |
| Artist/Song: | Robert Palmer, “Addicted to Love” |
| Mondegreens: | “Minus Yellow Pages, you’re addicted to love.” “My auntie’s lil’ baby, you’re addicted to love.” “Minus twelve fingers I’m addicted to gloves.” “Mine are square faces, you’re a d-d-d-dur.”
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| Actual Lyric: | “Might as well face it, you’re addicted to love.” |
Music to Our Ears
As much as I love being able to sing along word for word with my favorite music, I derive just as much pleasure from hearing other people let loose with their own, utterly misguided versions of the same tunes. I’ll never forget the time I took a long walk with my (very lovable but linguistically inept) former roommate and she burst into the opening strains of “The Star-Spangled Banner.” “Oh, say, can you see by the donderly light …” she crooned, and then offered up an enthusiastic salute to no one in particular, as I almost fell on the ground in hysterics. I learned a valuable lesson that day: we all hear what we want to hear, and one woman’s “donderly” is another’s “dawn’s early.” Live and let live, I say—and always sing like no one’s listening.
