“Holy synchronicity.” This is the term I use to describe how something or someone shows up just when you need it the most. Circling back to 1995, that is when Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés first appeared to me in the form of an invitation from a friend to join a discussion group based on her book, Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype.
The concept intrigued me: wild woman. Really? Could that be me, or, better yet, some aspect of myself that was ready to be set free? Turns out it was. At the time I was struggling with poor health, lack of verve and purpose, and stuck in a toxic marriage. Somehow the wild woman within—a creature with innate integrity and healthy boundaries who lives from her soul—began to call me home. I attribute much of who I am today to this landmark book and to Dr. Estés herself, a Jungian analyst and cantadora, or, “keeper of old stories” in the Latina tradition, and a midwife to the feminine soul.
Today, I find myself at a new threshold—entering my “wise woman” years—and here she is again, this time sharing a work, thirty years in the making: The Dangerous Old Woman: Myths and Stories of the Wise Woman Archetype.
I am intrigued about the notion of being a “dangerous old woman.” Who is she and why would it be important for us to embrace her? I decided to ask Dr. E. herself through an email interview.
“The true vision of the wise woman is one of bounty, of love and age and wisdom,” she said. “As she gathers years, like la arbol de la vida, the ancient tree, she grows even more arms, even more flowers and fruits. She is more rooted, more vast, more sheltering, developing her callings to be throughout life, maiden mother, medium, crone, elder, healer, teacher, artist, knowing woman.”
And like a sturdy, all-embracing tree, a wise woman would certainly uplift up her “sisters” in support of their growth, too.
Dr. E. concurred. “Sisterhood is a journey of the soul. Sisters walk together as fellow travelers on the road of life, stopping to aid other travelers as we can, and if we cannot help, to do no harm. Sisters, in unexpected moments, take on the wisdom of angels for one another. The Dangerous Old Woman in myths and tales is not afraid to carry a simple heart of forgiveness in ample supply ... nor to respect and love self and others ... not through the dim eyesight of the ego, but rather through the far-seeing powerful eyes of the radiant soul.”
And yet, many women do not hold this stellar picture of sisterhood, nor have they experienced its benefits themselves. Many have been hurt and wounded by other women; soul negated, not soul nurtured. Why do some women restrict others from living their giftedness? Dr. E. explained that when “ordinarily good-hearted women” engage in gossip or ridicule, it is as a result of their own wounding. “This often occurs because the soul of one or more of those attempting to intimidate/harass has been thwarted in its own creative life unfolding ... and it now turns to ‘punish’ the one who is still free.”
On a more worrisome note, in many communities we have been witness to the actions of “ridicule packs”: groups of young girls or women who, by their conjoined presence, disempower others. Why, when women, by their very nature, are inclined to nurture and uplift?
“A ‘ridicule pack’ is a group of two or more people whose lives mostly revolve around finding the ‘badness’ or ‘lessness’ of others, thereby attempting to elevate a doused spirit,” she said. “Their way of bonding is to agree to join together in a form of low consciousness about the hearts, minds and souls of others. They judge others—and themselves—without deep insight, thereby holding distorted ideas about human nature, the gifts each person carries, what destinies others must follow.”
