You say these words,
to break my heart.
But I feel better,
when we are apart.
How does it feel,
now that things are too real?
You can’t fake it with me,
because I am already FREE!
Next time you call,
you’ll be talking to the wall!
Life goes on after losing a “friend,”
I just had to realize NOW is the time to put it to an end!
I’ll always remember the times that we shared,
but none of it was REAL and you never really cared!
This was a poem expressing how I felt, regarding my BFFF dumping me for a new boyfriend that came into her life. I have always had such problems with finding and keeping positive female friends in my life. It seems like as soon as I feel the closest to her and trust her the most, they always do something to hurt me and mess up the trust involved. I know that people come and go in life. But why do the people I decide to trust in a major way blow me off when they find something or someone better?
One of the hardest life lessons I had to grasp was the fact that people come and go. I believe that certain people are put in our lives for just a very short but enlightening experience. These are some of the relationships that I benefited from the most. They came into my life for a reason. Maybe some knowledge was gained, a lesson I never got in the past was learned, and I needed to figure it out at that time. Maybe these things happen to teach me that there are still genuinely good people out there! Maybe a negative experience is meant to help me learn more about myself, and how to deal or how not to deal with certain issues. By them having an effect on me, although negative, I learned what not to do again, whether it involved any relationship—intimate or friendship—or even something very personal and private to me.
But it seems that the people I kept around for the longest were really just enablers that allowed me to continue down a negative path. As I went though life, and now the age of thirty-one, I allowed people to dictate how I felt, how I acted, who I spent my time with, how I looked at myself and others, how I dressed, who I was friends with … the list goes on and on. But I think at this point, you get where I am going with this. If they were not happy about something, I was not happy either. I spent a lot of my time trying to fix or change these people while I put my life and responsibilities on hold.
Within the last ten years or so, I held onto many bad and even abusive relationships for way too long, holding on to the hope that they would change because they wanted to stay with me. But they never did change. Most are still on the same destructive paths. I had to realize that these people were not going to live my life for me. They really had no effect on making my life into what I wanted it to be. I was continuing to allow them to bring me down. And when I started to fight for myself and make changes in who I allowed into my life and who I was going to remain in contact with, they did not like it at all.
Only with determination and a lot of time spent alone was I able to change who I allowed in to my life. And I do not allow my remaining pals to bring me into any type of drama or negativity, especially when I was not even involved in it to begin with! And they understand and support me and help me to stay strong and happy. These are real people, real friends. They do not try to live my life for me and they stand independent. They understand where I am coming from and have welcomed me with open arms! They do not erase me out of their lives if they meet a man that they want to be with. They don’t get mad at me if I don’t want to stay out all night. They understand when I have a bad day and don’t try to make it worse. They don’t use my problems or issues to make feel better about themselves! And they definitely do not go around spreading my private issues when I confide in them. They give me positive feedback when I ask for advice or am having a hard time.
