It was a friend’s birthday dinner. I went with a bunch of friends along with the celebrant to a very good restaurant. As good as the restaurant happens to be, we were staring at the menu for over forty minutes trying to get a picture in our head of what the food might look like, if we ordered it; as we were being mindful of our pockets because we were mere students.
While our olfactory nerves were busy with the aroma from the kitchen nearby, we stormed into a conversation, which started with my friend highlighting her short experience at the club. My other friend who went clubbing with her previously began to explain vividly how she reacted at the club when a guy walked up to dance with her. “She gave this guy a monstrous and repulsive look. Men, this guy got the message sharply, he backed off with no questions,” she puts.
I burst into laughter, and of course she asked what was funny. Then I asked her why she was upset about the young man’s behavior. Aren’t such acts not expected in a club? As these guys wouldn’t just go there if they knew such environments weren’t opened for such advances. She argued bluntly that it should not be assumed that way; that everybody is there for their kind of fun. What???
Alright! Let us cut out the pretense; it is a club. Anything and almost everything that is thinkable and unthinkable happens there. Keep in mind that as ladies, the environment we find ourselves in matters a lot and you should not blame the place or the people for what they might offer you. Aurelius Marcus once said, “Never esteem anything as of advantage to you that will make you break your word or lose your self-respect.” Okay, most people go to certain areas for several reasons (I’ll let you ladies name them, there’s a lot I can’t possibly fit them all in here).
Some carry their dignity along, some save theirs in their drawers at home for protection probably. Facts remain that, whether or not you take them with you or leave them at home, there are clear chances you may break or lose them when you take them with you; or totally forget them. If the latter is the case, don’t expect in return what you don’t give, and if the former is the case, you have the power to protect your self-respect by simply not letting the decisions or the situation you create for yourself manage you.
Seriously, it is high time you be truthful to yourselves for the sake of what you really want and expect from the opposite sex.
As the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt says, “Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” If you let them, they will make use of the free pass. Gandhi also does said, “They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them.” If you give men access or a free boarding pass to a woman’s world, they’ll love it and gladly take it, so protect it.
I recently read an article where most men say they read just the signals women point at them, and not just the words they tell them. We love to talk, talk, talk, but we find it hard to walk, walk, walk in the way we have spoken. I know we are willing, but wouldn’t it be exciting to “just do it?”
Desiring respect from the opposite sex isn’t just by mere words; actions, they say speaks louder than words.
