Twelve Vows to Make with Your BFF

I promise to always—always—tell you when you are about to have a fashion disaster, or at the very least, when you look chunky in those pants.

I promise never to forget that sometimes a problem can only be solved by an emergency middle-of-the-night phone call or cocktail, as long as you’re cool with me showing up to the bar in sweatpants and Crocs.

I promise to tell you what I really think about your boyfriend. But no matter what, I won’t judge you for not breaking up with him.

I will call you out on your crap, even if it means getting in a fight. If you’re being irrational or immature or living in complete denial, I’ll be the first one to initiate a come-to-Jesus talk. With one exception…

I will always listen and commiserate when you get a truly hideous haircut, even if you’re sort of overacting, considering that it’s just hair and it’ll grow back eventually.

A best friend doesn’t worry about whether you look cool or you look like weirdos, as long as you’re having fun. I promise to look like an idiot with you.

Some embarrassing moments can eventually be talked about and laughed at, and some should stay locked away forever and never discussed again. I promise to know which is which without you having to tell me.

I promise to joke with you about how all your mom friends are so deluded into thinking their kids are so great, but I’ll totally agree that your baby really is the cutest, smartest one that’s ever lived.

I will always squash untrue gossip about you when I hear it. Unless it’s gossip that makes you sound fiercer, in which case I’ll tell five new people

I promise to indulge in girly things like face masks, Bikram yoga, or bikini waxes with you, no matter how painful, smelly, sweaty, or silly you look. And I will most definitely not take pictures of you and post them to Facebook. (At least not anymore.)

I will never make you do anything embarrassing for the sake of my wedding. Including, if necessary, being in it at all.

I promise to always encourage you in your new hobby/healthy diet/workout routine/meditation regimen, even though we both know that it’s only going to last a few weeks.