I am still thinking about what friendship means to me. For those of you following the story … I am still struggling with one of my relationships. I have been thinking about this individual quite a bit, because I value her as a person. I miss having her in my life … what happened is all my fault and I am taking the responsibility for it. I have been beating myself up over it. I did meet with one of the pastors this past week at my church. The meeting went very well … One thing that he shared with me is that I shouldn’t beat myself up over it. I haven’t talked to the individual for a couple of weeks now and when I do think about what I am going to say to her. It brings me to tears, because I care so much.
I am going to be visiting with her sometime this weekend or next week … I can’t keep feeling the way that I do. I am letting this get the best of me and I am wrong for doing that. I have to respect this person and the boundaries that she has placed in the relationship. The boundaries are to help me to reach out and not depend on e-mailing so much. Again .. I do value her as a person. We go to the same church … she is a caring individual … who wants to see me succeed in life. All she wants from me … is for me to continue to reach out and to open up more …
I don’t know what is going to happen in this story with this person, but I do know this … I can’t give up! She hasn’t given up on me … for me … friends are very important ... I have to put myself out there and if it means ... that I get hurt ... I just have to keep trying. Eventually, I will get it right.
