I used to be an any-excuse-for-a-party kinda gal; but lately, I’m any-excuse-not-to-party and I’ve no shortage of excuses—“I’m too busy,” “I’m too tired,” “I’m too broke,” “I’m too obsessed with presidential politics.” I recently heard myself opt out of plans with the excuse that my hibernation instincts are kicking in with the cooler weather, so I can’t leave the house.
I want to be social, I need to be social—belly laughs are few and far between these days—but I’m kind of stuck in an anti-social rut. An informal poll of friends and family finds that I’m not alone. We’re all stretched a little too thin, and while we know that research shows friends keep us sane and reduce stress, it’s just so insanely stressful to make time and plans to see those friends.
I’ve decided to channel my hibernation instincts to create an easy, frugal, but mostly fun way to see the people I care about; I’m bringing back the house party!
Fun-due!
I’m so over being overdressed and underfed in overpriced and underachieving new restaurants. I want to break bread with friends—stale bread preferably—and then dip it in a communal river of melted cheese. The tradition of dunking meat and stale bread into a pot of melted cheese originated with peasants in Switzerland as a way of using up leftovers. It was popular here in the sixties and seventies, but then was forsaken and ridiculed along with velvet wallpaper and polyester. Thankfully, all things retro are cool again (except polyester), so fondue is back and it’s tastier than ever with so many new varieties—like chili, bacon, and asparagus—to choose from. Keep it cheap and fun by inviting friends to bring different fondue ingredients and dippers, or even cheaper and more fun by skipping straight to dessert. Serve fruit, marshmallows, and nuts for friends to dunk in bubbling bowls of melted chocolate. Cut up vintage vinyl tablecloths to make fun bibs as party favors, and if you’re feeling generous, make a mixed CD of traditional Swiss music. P.S.—Be sure to establish dipping etiquette (no double-dipping!) to keep relations friendly.
Party tip: Incorporate fun Swiss traditions like, if a guy drops his bread in the cheese, he has to buy a bottle of wine; if a girl does, she has to kiss the person on her left!
Not-Sleeping Beauties
I want to vent, I want to gossip, I want to know what magic potions my friends use to erase time, and I want to watch reality TV and complain about the characters. What could be easier, more relaxed, and more fun than inviting a bunch of good friends over for a sleep over? They bring their jammies, sleeping bags, and favorite night creams (for show and tell) and I provide a living room floor, sappy movie marathons, popcorn, and drinks—anything from hot chocolate to hot toddies depending on the pajamas.
Party tip: After one or two successful sleepovers with close friends, remix your slumber party crowd by hosting a “sleep with strangers” party. Invite each of your friends to bring along a friend of theirs that you don’t really know. It’s a good chance to widen your social circle—and everyone else’s too—and you look like the socialista of the century.
Game on Night
My grandfather was a farmer and his only social outings were weddings, funerals, and card games. I remember how he would smell of soap and shirt starch leaving for his monthly night out and how he would come back with rolled up sleeves, smelling of cigarettes and booze, and sometimes with his winnings—a turkey—under his arm. I’ve wanted to start a “First Friday” card night since I’ve had my own place (and my own oven for turkeys), but somehow I can’t pull it together. My original intention had been the first Friday of every month, but the frequency can be a problem as we all have such busy lives. It might be more realistic to start a “First Friday of every quarter” night, and broaden the concept to “game night” to cater to other interests like, board games, video games, thumb-wrestling games, karaoke, and head games.
Party tip: Keep costs low by keeping a snack and beer kitty ($20 each to start) and keep things fun by not inviting sore losers, like your overly-competitive brother who will get all bent out of shape when he falls over in Twister.
Themed Dinners
Making your guests contribute a dish at your dinner party immediately makes for a more interesting and less expensive party. Potluck is always fun, but you can up the interest—and the luck hopefully—by creating themed get-togethers. Think “Heritage Night” where each guest brings a dish (or course if you’re feeling pushy) that celebrates their background. You could also host “Wish I Was Here Night” where each guest again brings a dish from a far-flung destination they can’t afford to visit. Try a “Share the Love Night,” where guests share their favorite comfort foods (mine would be mashed potatoes with garlic and parmesan) or a “In Season Night” where guests create a dish from a few key ingredients in season at the time.
Party Tip: If food is a draw for your friends, consider organizing informal cooking-class parties every few months where guests take turns demonstrating how to make their favorite dish. You can rotate kitchens, split the cost of ingredients (and wine to wash them down), and then collect all recipes, with photos to illustrate, into a little recipe book to give as a gift to each friend.
To kick off the make-more-time-for-friends resolution I made all those months ago, I’ve invited some friends over for a comfort food potluck dinner next week. To keep things interesting, I’ve asked them to put their favorite five songs onto a USB key that I will copy onto my computer to play over dinner. As the music shuffles from favorite song to favorite song, my guests will share the stories of their favorite songs, and we’ll all learn a little more about each other. For some people a party involves food and drink, music and a disco ball, or just a large TV screen and a group of people watching it. For me, it’s any excuse to bring my friends together.