I don’t know what I would do without my girlfriends. When we are crying over some romantic situation gone bad (now forgotten!) our girlfriends push our tangled hair out of our swollen and tear-stained face and remind us how great we are. In these instances, our true friends hold a sacred space for us while we cannot and remind us of all the truths that we hold dear but just can’t remember in the moment.
It is important to remember that choosing our girlfriend posse is as important as any other big decision we make. Let’s face it, many of these friendships last longer than our marriages! We want friends that can truly celebrate us when our lives are going well, even if theirs are not. Our truest friends know that life is a team effort, not a competition. We are there to love and support each other unconditionally (isn’t it so much easier with friends than with romantic partners?).
Women are often pitted against each other as competitors (especially as beauty competitors) by society. This competitive phenomenon is based on a belief in lack. For example, “If she’s pretty, then I can’t be.” In fact, we can all be beautiful, smart, abundant, successful, and happy. There is no lack. We can all embody these qualities. If our friend has a quality we wish to embrace in our lives, she shows us some idea of how to manifest it. What a gift!
Some of us have had the experience of having a “frienemy.” This is a person in our life who we’re not sure is a friend or a foe. You may believe that they enjoy seeing you make mistakes, talk behind your back, or even sabotage your efforts. Many times this is a long term friend whom we love, but we also know the relationship is not healthy. Please make conscious the decision whether or not to stay in these relationships. There may be things we can do to help heal this relationship. But, can we afford to let it be as it is? Sometimes, we don’t realize how emotionally taxing and undermining these relationships are.
Our friends may not be the only support people in our lives. I think we all should enjoy the benefits of having a support entourage. Why should Jennifer Lopez be the only one? Your support entourage may include your AA sponsor, manicurist, your children’s babysitter (thanks Justyna and Laura!), your masseuse, your coach (hopefully me—Dr. Jeanine!), your therapist, etc. ...
Here’s to our girlfriends—thank goodness for them!