As a single mother of three little ones, it is difficult to have any time with friends that does not include the kids. Also, for the past few years, I have been practicing the lost art of Friendship with men who, in the past, might have become romantic partners. The tension in the male/female relationship is balanced by the freedom to be myself, without any worry about how it might "seem" to him. Everything can be just "what it is" in a friendship.
Recently, my little twin daughters and I were invited out to eat by one of these (male) friends. He is a very engaging person and always easy to talk to. The kids like that he is relaxed and that he seems to enjoy their "kid energy" without getting uptight at all. When we decided to drive across town for an ice cream after dinner, the girls asked for permission to ride with him. I said it was alright. When we got to the ice cream parlor, he told me that they had said to one another from the back seat (referring to the two of us), "They love each other!" followed by lots of giggles. He thought this was really sweet.
Later, after the saying goodbye to our friend, we were driving home. At the traffic light, I turned to the back seat facing my girls. I said, “ Mr. M and I are not in love. We are just good friends." One twin said, "But you hug him, Mommy!" I answered, "Yes, sweetheart, I do. But I hug everybody. You know that!" We drove a little ways in silence. Finally the other girl realized she had proof that what I said was true. "Oh - you don't bend your knee when you do it!" Laughing loudly, I answered, "That's right, honey."
