When we’re granted access to every minute detail of people’s lives on Facebook, perhaps it shouldn’t come as any surprise when we learn of their deaths the same way. Yet there’s something unsettling about being alerted to an old friend’s passing mere moments after glancing at a party invite or watching a posted video. Facebook isn’t just a place to maintain communication anymore; it’s become a place to grieve, to pay final respects to someone, and connect with his/his friends. With every new memorialized profile page or group dedicated to a deceased user, Facebook is changing not only the way we hear about deaths, but the way we mourn them as well.
Death on Facebook’s Terms
When we think about what will happen when we die, chances are “What happens to my Facebook profile?” isn’t one of the first questions that come to mind. But as of 2007, we no longer have to wonder. In response to the flood of comments left on the profile pages of victims of the Virginia Tech shootings, Facebook altered its policy. Now, once Facebook finds out that a user has died, that person’s profile is automatically memorialized. What this means is that for thirty days, sensitive information (status updates and contact information, for example) is taken off the page, the profile can only be looked at by friends (the friend list is also locked), and people are able to post messages and photos on the person’s Wall.
Alerting Facebook about a user’s death requires filling out a deceased form, which requires knowledge of the person’s date of birth, email address used for the account, network, and full name. However, the memorialized status only lasts for one month, so those who want to keep their loved ones’ profiles up longer than that either don’t fill out the form or request that Facebook preserve it. Another popular option that Facebook offers is for friends and family members to start group pages dedicated to the deceased, such as “Tribute to ____” or “In Memory of ____,” where people can share memories and cherished pictures online. And for those who want the profile eliminated completely, Facebook will only honor the request if you’re a close relative and can prove the relation.
A New Mourning Process
Hearing about someone’s death is almost always shocking, but having to read about it online through a status update or group message is a different kind of jolt. Thankfully, I’ve yet to experience reading about a Facebook friend’s (and I specify Facebook friend because, as we all know, that term encompasses close friends, coworkers, former classmates, acquaintances, and plenty of other people we’d never call or hang out with in real life, but will easily add them to our virtual circles) death online, but I’d imagine it makes the whole event seem somewhat distant.
