I just came back from having a lovely lunch at a French bistro in Newport Beach. No, I’m not going to tell you the name. They’re French. They don’t deserve it.
I was chatting with my friend Sabina about her sister, who’s dysfunctionally attached to her teenage son. He is scheduled to fly in from Germany alone and stay with my friend’s family for the summer. After making these plans, his mother decided it might be “better” for both of them to travel together to avoid any hassles, you know, the teenager may cause. Sabina flatly refused.
She told her sister she could visit anytime, by herself, and that her son would be fine without her. Her sister didn’t like it, but she accepted Sabina’s final answer. She had to. You know why? Because when you stand up for yourself and express your true stance on something, people will listen and take stock. And they will—unless they’re total idiots or you happen to be adverse to the inevitable, like taking your newborn home from the hospital—respect your wishes. I mean, if you really stick to it, what choice do they have? Do you realize what kind of power you truly wield?
So, try saying “no” to someone once this week. It could be the bartender offering you another strawberry daiquiri (not!) or your daughter asking you to fund her new cheeky tattoo, or your partner asking for ... I know what you’re thinking … you ladies! … asking for you to make him his favorite baby-back ribs. Whatever it is, just say no, mean it and stick to it, even if you’re also dying for some hot and heavy you-know-what!
