What male role model are you grateful to for the valuable lessons, love or support they have infused into your life? How has knowing them been a contribution to you? This Father’s Day is an opportunity to acknowledge the gifts they have given you and how they have changed your life. Consider the ways they have helped you be who you are…
In my life, I am very grateful for the lessons I learned from the significant male figures who have been there for me. I have had coaches, trainers, teachers and instructors all who took the time to help me develop into more than I may have thought myself capable of. It translated to an ability to lead not only a self-sufficient life, but also one in which I go for the gold … over and over again.
It began with my father who, beyond loving me unconditionally, treated me like an intelligent, capable person. He told me repeatedly I could do anything I wanted to, anything I put my mind to, and I have. It is because of my dad that I am able to lead what I feel is an extraordinary life.
Early in my childhood, he modeled the value of memorable experiences over material things. He drove a station wagon when he could have afforded a Mercedes and was comfortable (still is) in his polyester pants when he could have filled closets with tailored suits. Instead, we swam with dolphins in the Florida Keys, attended the Olympic Games, took skating lessons and summered in the Muskokas where we boated, water-skied, swam and did a little cliff jumping.
He gave me opportunities to learn new skills and test them out on major playing fields like going after a professional skating contract with Ice Follies/Holiday On Ice when I was only eighteen and traveling my horses thousands of miles to compete in the World Championships when I was in my early twenties. He has always, emphatically believed in me.
My father never labeled me and he never treated me like a girl. That meant something when I was growing up, when the roles were more clearly defined and young women were still supposed to know their place in the world. My dad taught me to drive a nail when I was five and a boat when I was seven. He showed me how to be strong and be a leader of my own life.
I learned self-respect from my dad, so I married a man who respected, loved and supported me just as my father had. In my ten years with Gary, he showed me the incredible power of integrity and being your word. He was an embodiment of those principles. From him I learned if you don’t ask, you don’t get and everything is negotiable, he’d say this with a gleam in his eye as he started into a negotiation that usually ended in his favor. In the last three years of his life, as cancer ate at his body, he taught me to find the gifts in every moment and that giving up is not an option.
In the years since Gary died, I have drawn every day on the strength and the many lessons both he and my father instilled in me. These gifts have allowed me to negotiate the rocky terrain of grief and rebuild a life for myself. In the past, it was my father and my husband who invested in me and believed in me, truly great gifts. Now, I believe in me and I take the risks to invest in building the present and future I want for myself. Now, I am standing on my own two feet.
Though my husband has been gone from my life for nine years and though I have clearly stepped up and fully embraced living on my own terms, I do so knowing there is still one man in my corner no matter what. So on this Father’s Day, I honor him and all the men out there who create the space for their wives and daughters to be strong, independent, respected and valued while still allowing us to love softly and kindly. You are true gifts in this world. And to my dad … I love you with all my heart …
Find a way to acknowledge the men who make a difference in your life this weekend. Open up the celebration to include not only fathers but significant role models who have made a powerful impact in your life. Don’t let another day go by without them knowing what they mean to you. Father’s Day is an opportunity to say something now about the gifts you so appreciate.
