What is a friend? In my fifty years of life I don’t think I’ve ever asked myself that question. But being older, and of course, wiser I am more aware of the impact people have on my life and how important it is to have good people around.
In the past, I could care less if I talked to my mother less than once a week. But now, I find myself wanting to call her just to chat. She has become my friend. I value her advice and appreciate the way she listens to me without bias or criticism. She seems to actually care what I am going through and I know she wishes she could help me more than is possible.
I don’t know how I’ve missed her being this way in the past. Maybe it’s because we were too busy trying to upset each other that we didn’t pay attention to what kind of people we really are. We didn’t have time to really get to know one another. Nor did we want to.
I was a smart-mouthed, lazy, rude teen. And to me, she was a mean, un-caring mother who always criticized and never understood me. Funny how time changes people. Not in the way you would think. Our own perception of how people are changes.
I really don’t think my mother has changed all that much throughout the years, but the way I see her has changed. And, the person she thinks I have become is much different than the girl with the big mouth she was constantly yelling at in the past. I have grown patient with her and she with me. When she says something now that I think is out of line, I can reason with her and explain how I felt that comment was uncalled for. And she listens now. She doesn’t flare up with anger, but actually takes the time to think about her comment. Things stay on an even keel. We now save the anger for private moments where we can seethe and stew enough alone so that when we do talk again, everything is ok.
So, what is a friend? To me, it has become my mother. I have developed a compassion for her that I never would of thought was possible. I am a part of her and her of me and I hope we will continue to hold onto this friendship that has grown between us, forever.
