How Did You Learn About the Birds and the Bees?

I was about five years old when "the talk" began. My mother used to tell the story of my rushing into the kitchen one summer day, grabbing the broom, and heading back out the door. "Where are you going?" she asked, and I shouted that there was a dog outside "killing" our dog. She looked out the window and saw there was indeed some action in the yard between the dogs, but it had nothing to do with killing. She took me by the scruff of the neck and sat me down, then launched into the birds and the bees (and in this case, the dogs). I remember none of this. However, two years later my nine-year-old cousin filled in the blanks.

I wish it would have been from my mother. My Dad and I were out looking at the cattle and he pointed out the bull. Thats what happens between boys and girls. I was appalled. A few weeks later, the school took all of us girls into a room and showed us"the film".

still waiting...I'm married and have three children, so I figured it out ...

I never had "the talk" (in fact, I still don't actually understand how "the birds and the bees" translates into "sex and procreation", but that's another story), but I had watched "Rocky Horror Picture Show" with my parents until I was old enough (they worried) to start asking questions. I knew generally about sex since then, but it was never a big thing in my house. Eventually (after I learned most of it by myself somehow), my mom said, "Well, we have books, you know how to use the Internet; if you want to know, search for it!" (the same way her dad told her, minus the Internet). So I read "Lady Chatterly's Lover" and Dr. Ruth's "Sex for Dummies" and that's the way it was.

I don't remember how the talk got initiated, but I do know I came home from school one day and there were three books about sex on my dresser. One was a pop-up book. Later I was asked if I had read the books and had any questions. The pop up book amused me and my friends for weeks.

A girl at school told a joke and I asked mom what it meant. So I got "the talk". I still didn't get it and wondered how the sperm got into the womb. I remember my two best friends and I talking about it-we knew that sperm swam, so we decided it happened in the bathtub. Only I never remembered my parents taking a bath together.......I was confused for years.

The pieces fell into place for me when I read James Michener's Hawaii when I was 11 or 12. I'd been educated that the penis went in the vagina, but no one had mentioned erections. I had a mental image of a man and woman struggling to stuff a flaccid penis into a vagina. I couldn't figure out why that would be any fun. Someplace in Hawaii, James Michener explains enough about Captain Hoxworth's reaction to seeing Jerusha that I realized, "Oh, THAT's how it's done!"

Oh, so many funny stories here. My friend Kate had read the parenting books and knew she should answer her son's questions as he asked them, with whatever simple facts were appropriate for his age. When he was about six, he came home from school and asked how the babies got inside the mommies' tummies. Kate explained that they grew there. Well, what makes them get started growing? A seed from Daddy. How does the seed get in there? It is a special seed that comes from Daddy's penis. Does the daddy use his penis to put it in the Mommy? Yes, he does. End of conversation; the kid was asking too many good questions.

So that nght, the bedtime conversation went something like:
Son: Mommy, when can I get married?
Kate: Oh, not for a long time honey. You need to grow up, go to college, and get a job. Why?
Son :I want to get to do that penis thing. That sounds like fun.

Correction: In her own way my mother did talk about the birds and the bees- however, I remember just meeting a boy and feeling the way that I felt. The experience itself was my teacher- I just learned as I went along.

I'n her own my mom did talk about the birds and the bees- however, I remember just meeting a boy and feeling the way that I felt. The experience itself taught me- I jsust sort of learned as I went along.