As I sit and think of today, March 20, I remember twenty-two years ago and the phone call from my Dad.
“Michelle honey, Mom passed away this morning”. All I know is that I was thrown into such turmoil. No, it can’t be, I need her, she can’t die! At the time I had my oldest daughter, who was born with spina bifida and in a wheelchair, and my second daughter who was eighteen months old. I was thirty-one years old and had planned on many fun things to with my mom and my girls. That was taken away from me in an instant.
I am now fifty-three old and my mother passed away at fifty-five years old. As I approach that age, it gives me an eerie feeling. This is where my Mom was in her life, could this happen to me? We don’t know, do we? All I know is that after my Mom passed away, my outlook on life changed forever. You can’t take things for granted, and I never did from then on. I always made sure that the people I loved knew it every time I saw them. I spent quality time with my children, doing things that they liked to do, and trying to do things for myself too.
It took many years to get through the grieving of my mom. I became clinically depressed for years, it was hard to function everyday, but I had to for my girls. It was about five years before I really accepted her death. It was about a year after my son was born. Another new life had blessed our family.
My mom was a special woman, very was much loved and admired by many people. She had a big heart, she loved to help others, and she loved to have fun. The more I age, the more I find I am like her in so many ways. That is something I am so very proud of. But I also have some of her not so good qualities too—but don’t we all have a little downside? It is those good qualities that matter the most, and I have passed them onto my children.
I hope my Mother is proud of me. I know I have tried so very hard to be a good person in my life.
She has been reunited with my oldest daughter who passed away in 2006 unexpectedly. I am glad she has my mom to be with in peace. Doing good things together in the heavens above us.
I love you and miss you both so very much!
