This is about a journey that I went on a little over three years ago. My mom who was my best friend, my mentor, and my hero was diagnosed with colon cancer six years ago. The day we found out started a journey of growth, grief, and a love that I have never known. A couple of things that immediately came to my heart when the shock wore off were, please let me be with her when “the time” comes and I will have NO regrets when she is gone. From that day on I made it my life to see my mom every day and to take the best care of her that I could. I watched as her tiny body endured many surgeries, a colostomy, chemo and all that it brought on. I put everyone and everything else on the backburner (even though I work two jobs) to spend time with her every day. After three years of ups and downs, remission, new treatments, hopes, and disappointments, the cancer was winning the battle. I am an aide at our local school and I drive a bus after school. One afternoon while on my bus (full of children) I get a phone call from my mom’s husband. I will never forget the words he said to me. “Go to the house and get your moms living will.”I pulled my bus over and asked, “What is going on.” I had just talked to mom on the phone less than thirty minutes earlier. She had gone in to get some fluids because she was dehydrated but she sounded fine. This was the beginning of the end.
The cancer had gone to her brain. When I got to the hospital it was awful, she was in so much pain. Her doctor came in and told us that they were going to medicate her pretty heavy to control the pain in her head and that she would probably not wake up. Once they got her stable and in a room that is where I stayed. While watching TV in her room one afternoon with my sister, Mom rolled over and there were those big beautiful blue eyes. We had two wonderful days of talking, sharing, and yes, crying together. She was told of the reality that this was the end. A few days in she got really sick which I believe caused her to have a stroke as she lost the ability to speak. After that day we chose to keep her in a drug induced coma. Her head was hurting her so bad and we couldn’t take her being in so much pain. We knew the time was drawing near but she continued to breathe on her own. We thought we were in for a long night as her shallow breaths kept going. My husband and my daughter were there as well and decided to step out to get something to eat. I was sitting right by the bed stroking Mom’s hair and just looking at her beautiful face. Just as my husband and daughter stepped out of the room I noticed her breathing getting very slow. I mentioned it to my sister and Mom’s husband. As we sat there around her, I knew it was coming and my heart was already falling apart. Just before Mom took her last breath, she smiled the sweetest little smile, took a breath, and it was over. I was the only one that saw her smile and I know it was meant for me to help me with the awful days ahead. That was three years ago this December. It was a journey I will never forget and she is a mom I will NEVER forget. What an amazing mom she was!! I miss her so! Liz Wright
