Are you in a relationship where you know that if you don’t get out of it you might lose your very self? You feel like nobody but yourself can put an end to it but just can make the decision? Did you ever try to break up and the next thing you know you are back together or making love? Have you lost your confidence? When you look in the mirror do you really see yourself or someone else, someone that is far from being who you really are? If you respond yes to at least one of these questions, then you are me. We are both in this together, and trust me I know what you are going through. Here my story:
A couple of years ago, I was in another town where one of my friends introduced me over the phone to one of his friend. At that time I was already in a relationship with someone who loved me and that I really loved too. But unfortunately this relationship did not go further because he was living in another country than the US. So we had to end it. It was terrible for me to really let go and get over it. So for some reason I needed someone to talk too, and this that I was talking about earlier (the one introduced over the phone) start calling me everyday, and we started to talk to the point that he will call me when he wakes up in the morning or is about to go to sleep at time. I felt so confident talking to him that I was able to tell my life story. Everything about me, my relationship with friends, family, my daily life, how I was hurting from my break up, in one word I was telling him everything about myself so did he. It seemed to me that he was the only person who really understood me, we had the same opinion over some subject it was like we were thinking the exact same way. Then he started to complain when he calls and I am not home yet? (I had only a home phone at this time) where was I? I had to call him and let him know were I was going, when I was over the phone with him I was not allowed to pick the second line if someone was calling me. I loved all this, the feeling of knowing that someone really cares about you to this point. Then on Valentine day, he asked me out over the phone he said that he wanted me to be his girlfriend. Well it is strange now looking back, at the time it was happening, I said yes because at first I did not want to break our friendship by saying no, also I don’t see the point of saying no since we were both living in separate cities. Then we continued talking over the phone except that he started to become a little be more possessive at the time. But I loved the feeling that it was giving me: That I am special to him it he acted this way.
After me visiting him in his city, he didn’t want me to go, he wanted me to stay. He even cried at the airport when I was living. No need to tell that I was flattered to see a guy cry for me. He must really love me I said to myself. A couple of months later he insisted that I need to come in his town so we can be near each other. I gave it some thinking and finally decided to move to his town because I like it better there than where I was. At first I was going to stay with him for 2 weeks the time that I found a one bedroom apt so I could move. Suddenly he didn’t want me to take a one bed apt but two bedrooms apt. Then he started to complain that his roommate and his friend was looking at me in a way that he did not like. Then he pick up a fight with his roommate over nothing and said that we could not stay anymore but need to move out. I did not know anything about this new town, so I didn’t see the point of saying no, because he seemed like a great guy. The next thing I know we moved to a two bedrooms apts. Then there started the abuse. He started to say that I am talking too much just to say stupid stuff, then he told me that I am smiling a lot and that I am stupid for always smiling. “How can anyone smile a lot like you he said, get real.”
