As the adventures of mommyhood continue ...
Mama (as she has carefully chosen to be called) is now being called “Manda!” (said in a very angry tone by her fourteen-month-old daughter).
Mama/Manda: “Sweetie, please don’t drop your spoon/cup/food/plate/etc off your tray (said in a very firm but kind voice).
Darling Daughter narrows her eyes and hangs the item lower off the tray.
Mama: “Darling, Mama said No!”
DD then swings the item over the edge.
What will happen next? Will the item end up on the floor? Will it land in one piece? Will Mama ever be listened to for the rest of her natural born life? Is this a karmic response to that bad year in college?
Sound familiar? No, well perhaps this scenario rings bells ...
The Darling child has been playing quietly for a few moments to lull the parent into a false sense of security. The parent is thrilled the child has his/her attention absorbed and attempts to take that minute to do the many things on the to-do list—return calls, email, fill out surveys, swap loads of laundry, feed the pets, put on deodorant, brush their teeth- any of the countless mini-tasks that need to be done in a day and require only a small amount of the brain and two minutes put together. During an incredibly short period of time during which the parent is halfway done with whatever they are doing, a sound at a strange decibel makes the parent’s ears (Okay, let’s face it, this is a Mom talent usually) perk up like a meerkat on the dusty plain. Running from wherever they were otherwise engaged (usually the bathroom, to be honest) in all manner of undress to find the child doing something, anything that results in a funny photo and a struggle to imagine the child ever surviving into adolescence.
Sounding a bit more familiar is it?
Welcome to the adventures in Mommyhood! The most harrowing adventure of your life! See the child whose only diet has been organic ingest things from the sandbox as if it were a delicacy!
Experience high blood pressure as your child decides that the edge of couch is a small step for toddlerkind and leaps without looking!
Thrill to the sound of kicking feet and whining the likes of which have never been seen in the Napa Valley or the South of France vineyards!
So, put on your eye goggles and capes and big rubber boots, because honey, these adventures are anything but clean! We’re gonna need an extra big package of wipes. STAT.
