“How could he do anything with a woman with his big belly getting in the way?” Rose asked about an elder man who was openly flirting with a nurse. She got the attention of the visitors and staff that were within earshot and at eighty-six, Rose, the only female resident at the nursing home who has (admitted to, anyway) a tattoo, makes no bones about talking about sex.
Sometimes we forget that the people who are now our revered elders once lived full, robust and sexually active lives. And that picture of Grandma as the virgin bride who did her wifely duty promises to change dramatically not too many years from now as boomers, who openly endorsed “Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll,” begin filling the halls of nursing homes.
What might be wise to remember even now, though, is that boomers did not invent the enjoyment of sex. Oh, sure, many social taboos were in place when Rose was a young woman in late 1930s and early 1940s. Conditioning of “what women want” was pretty rigid in those days. Although it included a husband and family, the idea of how that family might come into being was not conversations people had in “polite company,” as it used to be called. But that doesn’t mean it was non-existent.
Rose, aware that her comment got a reaction, was pretty pleased with herself and began spouting more comments related to anything in which she could include the word “sex.” God love ‘er!
Sex among elders is getting more attention these days, chronicling those folks lucky enough to be in a position (no puns intended) to engage in sexual activity. This is also a sign of how things have changed, despite what the sexual norms of that generation might have been. And quite frankly, it thrills me. Probably because I’m as close to Rose’s age as my daughters are to mine or possibly because I’ve always suspected a sexual relationship does not have to end simply because culturally we’re squeamish when it comes to aging. This, I predict, will be another shift in perception as the next generation of elders will insist on being seen and heard.
Rose continued with her topic of choice, and other folks began to chime in. Laughter and memories joyfully filled the hallway. One of the residents asked me if Ageless-Sages.com had any love stories. I wonder just what she has in mind?
