My grandmother just recently died. She was a hard-working, funny, determined, kind, thoughtful, and sensitive grandmother. I saw her once every year because my grandparents live out of the country. She didn’t speak English but I would chat with her as best as I could every time I saw her around the ranch. Truth is, I was embarrassed to speak to her in Spanish. Not because I was ashamed of my background or the language itself but because speaking Spanish with any adults other than my parents is very intimidating. I always wanted to impress everyone by speaking great Spanish but, I would always get intimidated and just do small talk. This is why I would only small talk with both my grandparents. My point being, I always thought that my relationship with my grandmother wasn’t the closest one in the world. But, yesterday at 11 p.m. when I was told that she had died, I was in such disbelief. My brother told me what had happened and I honestly thought he was joking around. Unfortunately he wasn’t.
I was never quite sure what was wrong with my grandma because I guess my parents didn’t want me to worry too much about it (I’m a teenager by the way).
When someone you know and love dies, it’s shocking how you can’t seem but to deny it. Just when I thought I wasn’t that close to my grandma, there I was shaking my head back and forth and crying harder than I ever thought I could. But, I do believe that she is in heaven resting and that’s the only thing that is keeping me from crying me eyes out again. I know that myself and anyone has to go through the grieving process and to remember who she was and to never forget her. She was an amazing woman and person and I hate that I took our time together for granted. And it’s so true how you never know what you have until it’s gone.
The ranch where my grandpa lives won’t be the same ever again. But, I know she’ll watch over my family. I wrote this because I felt a duty to write this on this website and I wrote this to console myself. Maybe it will touch someone else—or maybe not—but thanks for reading.
