My brother-in-law committed suicide yesterday. We are still shocked and have so many questions. Why? Why? Why? None of us had any warning that it would come to reality. It started with a written note on the front door with apologies and instructions on what to do after we found him. We are thankful that we were able to find his body – at least the police did. He had purchased a gun recently and that’s what he used on himself. Hard to imagine going out that way – so gruesome. So out of character.
He left no will, so now we have to plough through his life and find things that we wished we did not have find. Intimate details about one’s private life. We had to tell the neighbors and his employer. They were as stunned as we were. No clues that this was coming.
You are never prepared to face this type of tragedy. You are too shocked to move or talk. You have to push yourself to make the motions to get through the necessary paperwork. It’s not fun at all. We don’t want to deal with it. We want him back. Why, Why, Why?
I hope that after we shift through it all and time goes by, we will have more clues on what set this off. The important thing at the moment is that the family is together and working as a team to provide the support to keep functioning and moving forward. We have to remember the good times and know that he loved us enough to leave us a note on how to find him. We want him to be happy. Joe – we miss you......
Could we have done more? We will never know.
