I met her long after the bed covers were raised at bedtime (US time) December 20, 2009. I looked into her eyes and noticed that she is not like the usual black Labrador or the golden retrievers that I have back home and not like the first cat, Didi, which we had when we were kids and my thoughts went down to memory lane to my sister Jean’s pretty Francesca—and I pondered why I can seem to tell their state of mind, and why not “this” one? For hers was a gaze so intense and so focused and a lot of times haphazard (Does she want something from me?) With that intent look and without blinking while feeling that hostility, I’m just ready to back away.
Either could be true, but that’s because I came from a twenty-two hour flight halfway around the globe, I’ve got this strong Asian accent, I’ve got this peculiar color – and for one: She doesn’t know me, err shouldn’t I be introduced? (Sabrina, this is Mamma Annie … I heard Marian say that, but she just stared at me … no purr!) That is her statement, “I care less who Mamma are you!” My wink, wink.
Then, I sat and watched her that night, and all day long for hours, but would never know what is going on behind those big dreamy chestnut-amber jade mixed, of pale brown and green lush eyes. She squinted at me, switched her tail. I didn’t know if she was excited or angry or just afraid—all I know is that, in the full context of her behavioral manifestations, she misses Marian so much that I do understand why both of them turned to the other side of the bed until the sun was up the next day.
So, I have decided to make it more “a day in the life of a cat, I mean … of Sabrina,” which I guess will get an upshot both to our advantages. In any case, she will be MY FIRST CAT ever and I will be living with her till all human and cat years put together … duh! My goal is to pacify her, teach her accept me, love me, well, actually I just want to hold her and embrace her. Touch therapy is better than exchanging stares, and I guess she’d love to be cuddled up too.
It wasn’t a struggle. She came to my side that day after all those stares for about a week, (which she does NOW especially when Marian is out). But it was a quick one, she jolted when It was an untimely “whoopee” for me ( goodness!) but with her far-away looks, her bottom jaw to drop as if delighted by the cool snowy breeze, I’m ‘guesstimating’ we have one thing in common: We both love SNOW (for the time being). Then, I started and walked my fingers in front of her gaze … she didn’t look and I did it a couple of times, stealing her away from her silent expression … VIOLA! I got her attention. But it was a painful “getting-to-know” ordeal! For after distracting her from her seemingly contemplation, she effortlessly grabbed my hand and reached for my finger with her tiny teeth. I was startled, flabbergasted—S-C-A-R-E-D!
Well, I just thought that I am not really custom-made for cats. Cats don’t like me. Sabrina cannot accept me. Sabrina and I will just continue to have this animosity and we continue to sleep near each other, with no love lost because we both don’t have a choice, right?
Like, human beings – Cats need time to adapt to change and Marian reminds me that I have to be patient. And yes, I still believe that even the most unfriendly of cats can become gregarious if treated with gentleness, understanding and PATIENCE. I don’t want to be dictated by some negative outcomes or by some of my hidden prejudices about cats…but from that day on, I challenged myself to remain affable to her and that means no more unwanted hugs, no more unintentional ruckus to her far-away-gazes, no more calling her “Sabrina” like how Cruella DeVille does it or a squeaky, funny, annoying tone may sound it. (Otherwise, she might mimic me “copycat” lol and that will scare me to death.)
I don’t want to make the problem worse, so I started chatting with her ( hmmm with decency) and making sure that this doesn’t make people in the household think, I’ve lost my sanity. I know that one day, Sabrina will come to associate my tone of voice and my gestures to a ritual of hugs and invitations of embrace that I want her to feel. I may not understand her unspoken language and the different sounds that she makes but when she meows and feels that she is asking for something, I just extend my hand so she could find a bed of warmth into it.
I’m sure one day, Marian will be surprised if Sabrina will come running into her so up and bubbly. Well, I’m teaching her new tricks. She may have been in her senior years, but I am just so glad that I have this chance in my lifetime to look after her with care. In so far that love is concern, nurturing her is celebrating life from a newfound pet. It’s just like partnership and being together, all cuddled up after a tiring day and however one would realize how to put things together? Still, it takes two to tango.
With her new found “comfort pillow” and ME taking all the love from what a pet can have from her NEW Mamma Annie … no one knows how it all started, no one else can fathom a cat’s mind … I believe, it takes only one Sabrina to fully comprehend it all—and that’s what matters to me now.
