There is an etiquette to every practice under the sun. Whether you’re a lounging lizard intent on staying alive through breeding season or a dog entering ground zero in a puppy park, there’s a right way and a wrong way to go about it. So, too, should you consider your approach to switching veterinarians.
Maybe you’ve been with your vet for years, but sometimes you get the feeling your pet may benefit from a change, especially now that your cat has diabetes. Or perhaps you’ve come to realize that you and your veterinarian really aren’t as like-minded as you previously thought. Maybe you’ve always known the magic wasn’t there and just never got up the nerve to break up or had a good enough reason to move on.
I got to thinking about offering you all this information after reading last Wednesday’s MSNBC article on veterinary liability (interesting timing after last week’s post on the subject, right?). In it, I couldn’t help thinking that the aggrieved parties should have broken up with their vets long before the events that led up to their terrible, injurious experiences. Not that they would have known the unthinkable was about to happen, but what can I say, breaking up inevitably came to mind while reading the piece.
As a veterinarian, perhaps the information I’ll provide below is somewhat slanted in favor of my own feelings (when is it not?), but if you consider the Golden Rule, you’ll understand that protecting feelings is what etiquette is all about. With that in mind, here are my tips for breaking up with your veterinarian … in seven not-necessarily-so-simple steps.
1. Making the Decision
Here’s a whole post on how to know if you need a new pet healthcare provider … in case you’re unsure.
2. Saying Goodbye
If you’ve been with your veterinarian for a long time, you might feel obligated to let him or her know that you’re moving on. If you’re on good terms, explaining in person or writing a really nice letter “excusing” yourself may be the thing to do.
Just don’t take this opportunity to bash your vet over the head with your reasons unless, 1) you’re not happy and you want your vet to understand how he/she might do things better, or 2) you plan to offer some face-saving white lies (she’s too far, too expensive, etc.). Otherwise, you’re likely to offend … and who needs the negativity if it’s not going to help anyone in the end?
3. Keeping it Quiet
Remember what your mother told you: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Yep. Sometimes it’s best to just leave without explanation. From a veterinarian’s point of view, I’d probably rather not know—that is, unless you have something useful to say.
A few months from your departure your vet may wonder where you went, but it’ll probably be a fleeting thought that comes and goes until you pass from memory altogether. It’s not that we don’t value you; it’s just that sometimes we’d rather not dwell on why you left. (Life’s stressful enough, right?)
4. All in the Family
Let’s say you really want to try out a young new vet in the practice but you’re worried you’ll offend your long-time old-timer. Please remember that the reason your veterinarian hired this young buck (or doe) is because he or she wants you to establish new relationships with trusted veterinarians. If you must say something, compliment your long-time vet on his/her choice of excellent colleagues.
If you’re just trying out all the veterinarians in the practice to see who fits you best, that’s almost always OK with us. Contrary to popular client belief, we’re not as sensitive about these things as you might think. Remember, the reason we practice together is because we trust one another and have learned to share well.
