There is nothing more frustrating to the single woman than the moment she suspects the man she has tagged as “Mr. Possible Long-term Relationship,” begins to show signs of pulling away. Before we launch into signs he actually is “pulling away,” (there are signs you want to recognize) it’s critical to understand that, in truth, women may often only imagine the vanishing act is about to ensue when, in fact, it’s merely fear from past relationships that ended abruptly sparking your vivid imagination.
That said then, if the man you are dating has been consistently, over a four – eight week period for example, behaving as if he is interested in getting to know you better and the relationship is progressing, it could be a sign that it is YOU who is interpreting a variety of harmless behaviors as signs he is ready to bolt.
Why does this happen?
Often, the woman who says she is “ready to be in a relationship,” begins to imagine “pull away” syndrome (PAS) simply because she is truly terrified to begin to trust, become intimate (emotional as well as physically intimate) and may sabotage the process by leaking her fears. Here are two excellent examples of how this fear may surface:
1. If he doesn’t text as much as usual and then delivers a message that says, “busy at work” but does not end the text with a flirtatious emoticon, it DOES NOT mean he does not want to see you or is experiencing PAS. (Especially if he says he will call you later – and he does — or asks if you would prefer to see him Friday or Sunday.)
2. If he asks you on Wednesday if you are free Friday or Sunday and does not offer the Saturday night option this time, it also does not mean he is a candidate suffering from PAS.
So then, what are the signs he is beginning to lose interest in the relationship? And, how can you know if he is losing interest in you, or is simply not up to the responsibility required to be someone’s main man.
Top Three Signs Your Guy is Pulling Away
1. You date once a week for a week or two, then perhaps twice a week, and then have that ONE amazing, knock’m dead date that simply blows you away. Then, he begins to disappear. He doesn’t call for three—four days, and then, perhaps, sends merely a text telling you he is “crazy, busy.” It’s often the “knock’m dead” date that causes a man to evaluate whether or not he is up to pursuing the feelings he experienced between both of you on that particular date. He might think it was REALLY good, that you are AWESOME, and have it together. And then, he may begin to wonder if he is really ready to be the man YOU deserve. If not, he will, in fact, begin to pull away. The man who is emotionally mature will ultimately have the conversation with you, while the less mature man could simply fade away slowly. Either way, it’s important to know that if he isn’t ready for what you want, there is nothing you could do (or should you try) to “change” him.
2. He stops mentioning plans of the future, or becomes vague about his immediate future plans (weekend, next month or next summer). When your guy used to talk about meeting his sister, or mentioning the fact that he would love to show you wine country one day, and becomes increasingly vague in regards to “future talk,” he may be unsure whether or not you are well-matched, or as discussed above, he is ready for a long-term relationship.
3. He severely slows down his communication with you over a long period of time (e.g, over a one to two week period) and makes excuses, even when you refrain from verbalizing your concern, or send “miss you” texts etc. Note that this is only pertinent if he has been consistently communicating with you daily and you then find that communication comes close to a grinding halt.
