The dating world can be a rough, rocky place. Allowing yourself to open up and trust someone can be quite the feat. I mean, if you didn’t go to grade school with the guy, how do you really know he is who he says he is? On the other hand, not trusting any guy until he proves himself isn’t going to land you a plus one either. So, before you get in too deep or waste too much time, be mindful of these red flags:
1. He’s still connected to his ex. Maybe they’re still Facebook friends; maybe she’s renting his old apartment from him out of “sheer convenience”; or maybe they’re still on the same phone plan because, come on, there just hasn’t been time to make the changes. Ladies, do not fall for any of these excuses. If he’s connected to his ex in any way, for any reason (besides children), there are still unresolved feelings floating around out there.
2. His life is more dramatic than a telenovela. We all have a certain amount of drama in our lives, but it’s how we deal with it that makes all the difference. Watch out for the guy who thrives in a drama-filled womb, communicates with superlatives and hyperbole, and creates his own form of “excitement” when the universe fails to provide. Girl, make a dramatic exit now.
3. He changes his Facebook profile picture at least three times a week. The guy is clearly self-involved and most likely a narcissist. He wants his ego stroked more than, um, any other part of him, which is no fun for you. Besides, he’ll never love you as much as he loves himself.
4. He never answers his phone when you’re around. Okay, so I can understand not answering if the two of you are out to dinner or at a movie. That’s just common courtesy. But, if his cell is continuously ringing and he responds by silencing it and making up some lame excuse about not knowing the number or whatever, say goodbye.
5. He’s moving your relationship faster than a high school rumor. You’ve been dating for a month or two and he’s already gushing about how he’s never loved anyone the way he loves you. And before you even have a chance to slip him your therapist’s number, he’s talking marriage and kids. Grab your birth control and be on your merry way.
6. Your friends and family aren’t fans. When the people closest to you (or even strangers) give your man the thumbs down sign, pay attention. A lot of times we don’t see the things other people do because we’re so close to the situation. You don’t have to necessarily listen to everyone else’s opinion, just be aware of their observations.
7. He asks to borrow money. This one should be a no-brainer, but it still happens all of the time. If the guy you’re dating asks you to give him a large sum of dough, don’t. If he really is in dire financial straits, he should seek help in the manly way, by asking his family, buddy, or financial institution.
