How many of us imagine that we have to look a certain way to have the love we desire? We tell ourselves that if only we were younger, taller, slimmer or more beautiful in some way, love would come to us. Our culture feeds this insecurity. Even if we don’t actually talk about this, it is as though these myths are always in the air. We are also aware that others feel and are aware of these underlying “rules” that society has put on us. We imagine that our perceived physical flaws are the reason why men don’t notice us. We become preoccupied with it, and obsess over what it would take to capture the interest of the man we’re interested in. We also go into competition with other women. This can be very subtle; however we can find ourselves either covertly or overtly secretly comparing how we measure up.
We want to free ourselves from this consciousness and start to relish in the pleasure in our own unique beauty. We want to become radiant.
The difference between beauty and radiance
Something does not have to be living to be beautiful. Beauty has a sense of being static, external and fixed. A painting, a tapestry or a building can be beautiful. Radiance is alive, dynamic, never ending and ever emerging. It’s the deep shining, self-expressed part of us that is in relationship to all of life, free from false beliefs and shining the light of our most authentic self into the world. A radiant woman is deeply in her body and is centered in her adult, woman power as opposed to trying to gain love and approval, which carries a little girl energy. Radiance is not impacted by age, weight, size, shape or any other perceived flaw rather it is like an erotic dance with the energies of life. This is the type of beauty we want to become interested in. When a woman is in her radiance, she becomes irresistibly magnetic.
A women being centered in her radiance will ALWAYS attract a wonderful man, despite her age, her weight, her shape or any other perceived flaw
So why are we so out of touch with our radiance?
Many of us have formed beliefs or have ideas about ourselves and our attractiveness that are stuck in experiences we have had in the past. We go on to build our identities elsewhere, for example, through our work, our academic achievements etc. We never go back and challenge the ideas and assumptions we have formed. We hide ourselves away and don’t want to be seen because of the beliefs about ourselves, about others and about life that we are holding on to. We are often afraid to be fully seen, imaging that it is unsafe. We may actually be scared of the attention we imagine would get from men and the rejection we think we may get from women if we were to be fully ourselves. We are often anchored in our inferiority, and so we try to make ourselves more beautiful on the outside to cover up these feelings. Meanwhile our authentic selves remain hidden and our radiance never shines.
How do we become radiant?
We become radiant when are no longer ambivalent or willing to be invisible or hide ourselves away, recognizing what this is costing us. We become radiant when we are anchored in the truth of who we are and become available to be known and seen on a deep level.
We start with the inquiry: ”What are my beliefs about myself and about myself being beautiful?”
We begin to make all of our beliefs, our assumptions and our conclusions conscious and we begin to challenge them and become anchored in what is actually true.
We start to evolve our capacity to generate our own safety, to set boundaries and to say “no.” We start to cultivate a capacity to create relatedness with other women in a way that has them feel seen and gives them the permission to shine too. We learn how to be ferocious and give up the idea that everyone has to like us. We start to see that if we feel jealous of other women and wish we were looking like her or getting the attention she does, that this is a deep desire to be noticed and seen and celebrated. It is a desire for greater self-expression, and so we go into an inquiry as to what we would need to give up or embrace to begin showing up as ourselves fully in life.
