Five Lessons Online Dating Teaches Us

If you’d told me in December 2005 that I would go on between forty and fifty first dates in 2006 and not have one single relationship, I would have told you that you were crazy. Not crazy because of your lack-of-relationship prediction, but crazy because it would have seemed impossible that I would be able to continue to muster up the energy and enthusiasm for that many first dates that resulted in not one single lasting romantic connection. I may not have found my allusive Mr. Right, but I could tell you how many siblings between forty and fifty Bay Area men had and where they grew up.

The point is, I kept going, and that’s an accomplishment I never would have predicted for myself. I’ve never considered myself an avid dater, but there I was, doing it and enjoying it in all its glory (and sometimes lack thereof). I would never have figured out how resilient and optimistic I am in the traditional, offline dating world because I’m not sure I would have had the time or resources to scrounge up that many dates on my own.

I don’t know where my number puts me on the dating curve as far as frequency (am I a social butterfly or a reclusive freak?) but I do know that 2006 ranks as a personal dating record for me. For the most part, I met great people. I also learned a lot about myself in the process. Some good, some bad, and even a little bit of ugly.

You're quite a catch. When you’re creating your profile, you’re revealing things about yourself that may not come up in normal conversation. Depending on the site, it could be your favorite books, favorite bands, how many kids you want, or even what your favorite on-screen sex scene is. The process of creating it may help you discover things about yourself that you’d forgotten and hopefully will give you a new appreciation and confidence for all things you. Like how much you still like U2, no matter what anyone says about them selling out. Come to think of it, you really do like going to baseball games, don’t you? Your friends are right—you are witty and funny.

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12.08.2008
Lyn Polly
Good article and good for you! Live your life and go be yourself! I think people, sorry especially women tend to LOOK for relationship, even tho we say we don't, when we stop looking, stay positive, love ourselves, love relationships and happiness and Oh great sex happens.
05.26.2008
Kathryn Hawkins
I did the online dating route, it was exciting, frustrating, scary and finally rewarding. The best part was knowing that I knew who I was and took it all lightly until I met him. It's an adventure not to be missed. Congrats on all those outings and can't wait to hear about the one that you can't stop looking at .....
02.21.2007
Amanda Coggin
Thanks, Rebecca. This was so helpful, especially since I'm in the last paragraph group.
It feels good to write.

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