The Many Layers of The Onion

There I’ve said it. That wasn’t so bad. I’ve admitted to the fact that I’ve created a first-date version of myself on the Internet for the entire world to view and subsequently pick apart like a Hooters chicken wing.

I made my foray into the online dating world in January of 2006 and my decision of which site to use was a tough one. Because I cannot in good conscience associate myself with a site that aligns itself with a doctor who goes simply by his first name, because I’m not Jewish, and because I have no patience to fill out a survey that takes roughly two hours to complete, I opted for the free version of a Web site that makes me laugh without fail, thinking that perhaps I might find a free version of a man who makes me laugh without fail. That’s right, in my attempt to alter my romantic destiny, I chose a site named after a vegetable. I chose The Onion. (Note: The Onion shares its database of members with Nerve, Salon, Fast Cupid, some local newspaper Web sites, and probably other sites I don’t know about. For convenience sake, I’ll just refer to it as The Onion.)

I chose The Onion after narrowing down the online dating space to what seems to be three major players. My personal assessment of each—right or wrong, from a straight woman’s perspective and in an extremely over-generalizing fashion—is:

Mr. Regular Guy = match.com

Mr. Square Guy = eHarmony

Mr. Slightly Edgy/Quirky Guy = The Onion

One reason I think The Onion is a little edgier is because of the questions asked in the member profile. The Onion’s questions give you a tiny bit more insight than the standard religion/education/favorite things-type questions. Whether this is information you want or is actually helpful in making a first impression about the person is a different story, but the answers can be a fun (and sometimes disturbing) read. Some of the more fun questions include: favorite on-screen sex scene, _____ is sexy; _____ is sexier; if I could be anywhere right now, and if I had a million dollars.