Regrets, I guess we all have a few. And, after spending the past thirty days trying to find romance through a popular online dating site, my biggest regret is not going to modeling school when I was a teenager. My sister did and, to this day, she loves to have her picture taken. She looks poised and confident, shot after shot. Meanwhile, my muggings for the camera look more like are more deer-in-the-headlights and “can we get this over with quickly, please?”
Good photographs are very important in the world of online dating. Especially for the ladies, with men being such “visual” creatures and all. And, it doesn’t stop there. Second to the “perfect pictures,” there’s also the profile—describing yourself and what you’re looking for in a way that doesn’t come off as too demanding or—heaven forbid—boring.
Apparently I’m not the only one who’s struggled with pulling together the perfect online persona. A recent time in the Los Angeles Times Magazine talked about how singles are outsourcing their personal lives: hiring an expert to write their online dating profile, and even enlisting the services of a dating coach to take to dinner so they can point out quirks that are (in their opinion) keeping you single.
But, before you post that profile, don’t underestimate the importance of being mentally and emotionally ready to find love online. You have to believe it’s possible to find your sweetheart in cyberspace. After all, whether it’s finding true love or a good parking spot at the mall, you have to believe in order to receive! I’m open to the possibility that non-believing is what may have prevented me from finding love online this time around. I admit it, I prefer to meet dates thru friends, work, or in daily life. In other words—I prefer my dates to come by referral.
If you’re feeling adventurous—and are ready to venture online in the name of love, here are some tips from my pal, Lisa Johnson Mandell. Lisa spent years dating online before meeting her husband, James, through a site for Jewish singles (and Lisa isn’t even Jewish!). Lisa is also the author of How to Snare a Millionaire, and dishes out relationship advice to wealthy bachelors on the new Bravo TV show, Millionaire Matchmaker.
Here are Lisa Johnson Mandell’s top tips for finding love online:
Photos
Put your best foot forward, let a professional show you in the best possible light online. “I think it’s really worth the investment to have professional photos taken. The worst thing is a snapshot where you cut the guy out next to you!”
“(Having professional photos taken) makes you feel like a million bucks. You have people fawning over you and you know they are going to do the best job as they possibly can to make you look as good as you could possibly look,” said Mandell. The upside to this is that you will have great photos to use for other things besides online dating.
Make sure the photos are recent, too. “The worst thing you can do is to be deceitful,” warns Mandell, adding “We may be a few pounds more than we intend to be, so we put our intended weight. (But) a guy is going to feel really deceived if you show up and you’re heavier than you said you are, or you don’t look anything like your photo.”
Be sure to include a recent head shot as well as a full body shot in your online profile.
Writing the Profile
- Come across as being confident and happy. Talk about things you like, which also helps a potential date learn more about you (such as “I love talking ‘til dawn,” or “I always wake up with a smile on my face, no matter how early it is”).
- Talk more about what you have to offer than what you’re looking for (you’ll sound like you’re lower maintenance!)
