As a relationship expert who gives relationship advice on a daily basis, I have determined there are ten basic key factors that determine whether or not a person is right for you. Relationships are a tricky business and getting involved with the wrong person can be destroy your life. How do you know when a person is right for you? I have broken down the top ten ways to determine if you may be with Mr. or Mrs. Right so you may live happily every after.
1. You both have common interests and goals. After the newness of a relationship wears off, what remains is that you are friends and friends have fun together and do things together. If you both work towards a shared goal like purchasing a home, raising a family or saving for a dream vacation, you are working together as a team. For example, a client of mine named Jody wanted to have children but her partner Matt did not. Since Jody was not upfront with Matt in the beginning of their relationship about her goal of having a family, it created stress and arguments in their relationship and eventually they broke up. Share your goals and interests with your partner and if they don’t match up, move on.
2. Make sure that your partner gets along with your family and friends. Even if there are issues or tenseness with your partner’s family, it is extremely important to make a positive effort and be polite. The same goes for your partner’s friends. Since your mate has chosen to have these friends, there must be a reason so don’t try to get in the middle of family and friends. If the relationships weren’t meant to continue, they will eventually end. Also, don’t try to compete with your partner’s friends. It is important to have male and female friends to joke with, share with and do things with. Don’t take this away from your partner.
3. Don’t choose someone just because of his or her external appearance. We all know that beauty fades and what is left when people grow old is their personality and their beauty inside. People, who only marry for superficial reasons such as looks, usually are not able to succeed long-term in a relationship. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and if you love someone, they will always be beautiful to you.
4. Don’t marry for money. Time and time again people who marry for money end up in an ugly, costly divorce. Money comes and goes in life but even if you have a billion dollars and are in the fanciest hotel on earth, it won’t make up for the fact that you are with someone who you don’t want to be with and you will end up miserable and unhappy. It’s much more satisfying to look at the stars with someone you love than living in a mansion with someone you can’t stand.
5. Cleanliness. If you meet someone who is a complete slob they won’t change and guess who will end up being resentful and bitter because you have to clean up after them? You. I knew a couple where the man was a neat freak and the woman was a complete slob. Of course the man tried to change his wife and when it didn’t work, he began cleaning up after her. After a period of time, he became angry at her lack of concern for order and they eventually divorced. What may seem petty in the beginning can turn into a huge issue in a marriage.
6. You are both ready for a lifetime commitment. Many people rush into marriage without taking the time to really get to know the other person. Simply dating a person for three to six months does not mean that you really know them. Everyone is on their best behavior when they first meet someone but until you see a person when they are down, in trouble or stressed, you don’t really know them.
