So many questions. So many rules. When is it appropriate to have sex? When do you call? What do you do when he doesn’t do what he says he’s gonna to do?
So many “do’s and don’ts” of dating. It ain’t easy. But to help you ease through the pain ... here are eight “Don’ts” to never “Do” in any relationship!
1. Don’t expect anything.
Period. As soon as you have an expectation for your date to do anything, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Watch what he does. See what he presents. Decide if you want it or if you don’t. But don’t expect it. Because I promise—he will never, ever, ever do it your way. Ever.
(If you insist on expecting something, then expect the worst. That way you at least have a chance of being delighted and surprised.)
2. Don’t complain.
You have every right to complain, but it doesn’t help you. Nor does it change the situation. So stop the habit of complaining. No one wants to hear it anyway. It’s not pretty and it doesn’t look good, especially if you’re trying to make a decent first impression.
3. Don’t call him.
Or e-mail. Or text. Or whatever! This is so elementary I’m embarrassed to repeat it. But there are those who still don’t get it. (I know. Hard to believe.) If you call him, you’re the driver. You’re running the show. He’ll expect you to pursue him. So if you don’t want to lead, don’t call. Let him call you and you call him back. Forever. Got it?
4. Don’t argue with anyone you don’t want to build with.
If your date says something you don’t agree with and you’re not sure you like him ... keep your mouth shut. Don’t argue. Just listen. Sit back and watch the show. Don’t engage. Otherwise you risk getting to know him better and gaining a deeper understanding of where he’s coming from. And that’s building a relationship.
5. Don’t trust anyone.
Ever. You will only be disappointed. People are human. So it’s best to not trust him. Now before you get all “wiggy” and self-righteous, think of how you can’t even trust yourself. How many times have you told yourself you’re going to lose that extra weight? And how many times have you done it?
Trust a scorpion (you know what they’re capable of) before you trust your date (or mate). Instead, take a risk on the person and build a trustworthy relationship.
6. Don’t have sex without an agreement.
Know what the deal is before having sex. If you both want a one-night stand or a brief affair ... fine. Just communicate it in advance so feelings aren’t hurt and agendas aren’t mixed. If one of you wants a long-term romance and the other is in it for tonight, someone’s gonna get hurt. So know what you’re getting into.
7. Don’t commit to anyone.
Commit to the relationship … not the person. Do your part and hope (to God) he does his. If you commit to the person, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment because you’ll start expecting. (Refer to tip number one.)
8. Don’t leave too soon.
Stay as long as you can. Even if this man is not your man, there’s something to be gained. He can teach you much about what you like and what you don’t. Think of it as a “dress rehearsal” for the real deal.
If you leave too soon, you risk repeating the same lesson over again with the next man. So stay until you’re done and you get it with this one.
