1. Keep abreast of important affairs. I did not say watch the news every day. In fact, it’s better if you don’t. I used to work at a news channel and believe me; the news is about capturing viewers and attention grabbing headlines. It is not necessarily news and not necessarily quality information. In fact, the news is usually depressing. If you follow my steps, you won’t have time to watch the news anyway because you will be off on a fabulous date somewhere!
Remember: If something is really important, chances are you will find out. The important thing is: Know something that is going on. Get informed. Get on the Internet and learn about it. If there was just a Tsunami that killed 100,000 people—you better know about it. You don’t have to know what’s going on with Britney Spears or Usher and if you do know, then you have too much time on your hands and aren’t getting out on enough dates!
Action Step: Write it down now.
In the world today, this is currently important …
Why is it important?
2. Form an opinion about something and take a stance. Don’t waver and stick to your guns. John Kerry didn’t win the 2004 election because the George W. Bush campaign painted him as a “flip-flopper.” Whether you or I agree with that or not is beside the point. The point is if you go out with someone and then change your tune to match theirs, they won’t trust you. They will see you as someone who pads what they say to make others feel good. You are not this person.
People have more respect for someone who stands up for what they believe in, even if they disagree. It shows moxie. (If you don’t know who George W. Bush or John Kerry is, you need to find out before you go on your first date—or anywhere for that matter! In fact, stop reading and find out now!)
Action Step: Write it down now.
I have one strong opinion on this topic …
I have an opinion on this topic because …
3. Read at least one good book. I don’t care what the book is granted it is not a comic book, but if you are into those, that’s ok too—you might want to take your date to the Comic-Con Convention.
For the rest of us, there is the NY Times Bestseller List, Amazon Bestseller, Barnes and Noble Bestseller, Time Magazines Top 100 Books of all time, UK’s The Guardian’s Top 100 Novels of all time.
You get the picture. Just pick one really great book that you like, no matter the subject. Read it, devour it, and digest it. Be prepared to talk about it and why you liked it. What did you like about the author? What did you like about the subject matter?
Action Step: Write it down now.
A book I have read that I really like is …
I found the book interesting because …
What I liked about the author …
4. Have at least one movie to discuss. Notice I did not say “favorite.” It is hard to have a favorite movie—and maybe you do and that’s great. You might not think this is important, but knowing this in advance might prepare you for that question: “What is your favorite movie?”
I don’t know why people want to know, but they often ask and it is good to be prepared. Most people have a certain genre that they like more than others, but often don’t have one that comes to mind in five seconds.
Look up the Top Movies of all time. Now, this is going to depend on what your definition of a top movie is. Some people say it is the quality of the movie and others say it is the box-office numbers.
For this purpose, go after the quality. A good site is IMDB—Internet Movie Database. Along with some great information on almost every movie ever made, you can find out the producer, director, editor and more of any movie just by putting in the title. They have a pretty good list. It is voted on by their users and is well rounded.
Action Step: Write it down now.
Some of my favorite movies include …
My favorite genre is …
5. I want you to take this one step further. Pick a movie, watch it and then write a movie review! Before you groan and say oh no—trust me on this. Writing a movie review is more complex than you might think and it gives you a better appreciation for the movie and allows you to see it from a different perspective. If you don’t know how to write a review, do an Internet search on how to write a good movie review. To push yourself even further, rent a foreign movie. Yes, the kind with subtitles. The point of this is to stretch yourself. Step out of your comfort zone.
Action Step: Write it down now.
One movie I find particularly compelling is …
The reason I liked that movie was …
My movie review …
Ok now you have some pretty good things to add to your repertoire. This is going to make you a lot more interesting and also able to sustain a conversation. Next we are going to get into the basics of date behavior and etiquette.
Part 1 | (Part 2) | (Part 3)