11. Make sure you re-read their profile before you go on a date with them, not a week before but literally a half hour before you meet them. This way it is fresh in your memory. Make sure you know all about them before you go out so you know what kinds of things to talk about and also what not to bring up. If they are a vegetarian, don’t order the steak tartar. If their favorite color is blue, you might want to wear a shade of it. If they said they liked Mexican food you might suggest a Mexican restaurant. They may not pick up on it but their subconscious will and they will feel like you are observant.
12. When talking to them on the date, engage in some small chitchat. Don’t ask them things they have already told you via their profile or email correspondence like, “What’s your favorite color,” or “What’s your nationality?”
Mention a few things they wrote in their profile. This will let them know you are interested in them. For instance, “So on your profile it says that you went white water rafting. How exciting, can you tell me about it?” “So, you were in the military, what was your job like?” “How do you like being back in the civilian world?” “You won the national ping-pong contest, how did you ever get started with that?”
13. Try to ask open-ended questions. Often conversation goes stale because people ask to many questions that can be answered with a yes or no. It is like Journalism 101. Stick to: Who, What, When, Where and Why. When you ask questions that start with “Did you,” “Will you,” “Would you,” “ Have you,” “Do you,” or “Can you” they usually come back with a yes or no answer. The question stops there and you have nothing to go on.
Some conversation starters: At the beginning of the date you don’t want to start asking in depth questions. Just start nice and easy. Build up to bigger or more in depth topics. Keep in mind that you don’t want to make them feel like they are at a job interview or under an interrogation though. Just pick a few of these and move on from there.
14. Some Easy topics include:
The weather: or some bad weather elsewhere in the world that is making headlines: i.e. “What do you think about that tornado that ripped through the Midwest tearing up houses?”
Recent news: This is different from what I wrote about earlier, this is light and easy news like a museum exhibit, a street closure, a baby panda birth. (Be careful about difficult topics that may lead to emotional arousal such as politics, abortion, religion, etc).
Family: siblings, where they live, favorite grandparent etc. If they already indicated that they have a brother and a sister don’t re-ask.
History: what school they went to, where they grew up, where they have lived, etc.
