As the creator of Kickbox & Kickbutt, a self-defense program for females, I also give empowerment workshops. Recently I completed my first book, entitled Empowering Females to Be Victors, Not Victims. I want to share with the world and teach females how they can improve areas of their lives that will empower them to have control over their safety and their physical and emotional well-being.
Facts
The National Victim Center in the United Statesreports, 1.3 females are raped every minute. That results in 78 rapes each hour, 1,872 rapes each day, 56,160 rapes each month and 683,280 rapes each year.
Battering is the major cause of injury to women, resulting in more injuries to women than auto accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. More than 1 million women seek assistance for injuries caused by battering each year. (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services)
In a society where we are facing an epidemic, females need to have the tools necessary to protect themselves. From the fear of rape, sexual assault, or domestic violence to learning how to balance family, school, work, and their commitments to society and church, females are bombarded with constant chaos, which drains them mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It is up to females, however, to control their lives and what happens to them. This is where empowering yourself comes in.
Self-defense isn’t just about learning physical techniques, but learning how to have self-defense emotionally and mentally. This means that females must learn how to incorporate safety and preventive measures against rape, sexual assault or domestic violence before a confrontation occurs. To do this, females must know what some of the “Red Signals” are. Take the subject of relationships.
Ladies, you must train a guy right from the very first date. You must be firm about how you expect to be treated, which is with dignity and respect. If you set the right tone from the beginning there will be no misunderstandings in the relationship.
If these warning signs are present you need to cut the relationship off immediately:
- Hitting or even raising his hand to hit you
- Not calling you by your name. Bitch, whore, cunt, etc. is not your name
- Threatening to hurt or kill you or members of your family
- Jealous of your friends or family members
- Buying you expensive gifts early in the relationship
- Trying to control your life choices
- Wanting to have sex before you’re ready
- Wanting you to perform sex acts you’re not comfortable with doing
- Refusal to use a condom
- Doesn’t have or can’t keep a job
- Does illegal drugs or drinks excessively
- Has baby mamma drama with his ex
- Has terrible credit
- Not on your educational or intellectual level
- Has no ambition in life
- Has a gambling problem
- Takes an unhealthy interest in your children
- Has mental issues himself or in his immediate family
- Expects you to pay for dates
- Always broke and asks you for money
Now there are rules for females to follow as well. You can’t be a drug addict, alcoholic, high school drop out, living on welfare in a trailer with five kids, and expect that you’ll snag a great guy with noble qualities. It usually doesn’t work that way. No one said you have to be perfect, but you at least need to be working on yourself, working toward all the things you need to do to make yourself a wonderful catch for some terrific and honorable guy.
I challenge females to gain control of their lives and maintain responsibility throughout their lives no matter what their circumstances, so they can become, and remain, a Victor, not a Victim.
