Do Men Really Hate Curls?

As Bravo’s reality show Millionaire Matchmaker gears up for a second season helping the wealthiest men find love, there’s no telling what controversial remarks host Patti Stanger will make this time around. It’s hard to forget the angst and anger the show’s star stirred in the curly community last season with her caustic comments about hair.

During one searing moment, that caused many viewers to cringe, Stanger ordered women with curly hair to find a flat iron or they’re out! She even compared one curly girl’s hair to a brillo pad. Ouch! Men only want women with straight, silky hair that they can run their fingers through, the brazen matchmaker told the group of wide-eyed, hopeful bachelorettes.

But could it really be true? If a woman can’t (or won’t) crush her curls, is she doomed to be crushed in love?

We posed that question to a handful of the leading matchmakers who attended the Professional Matchmaking Worldwide Conference in New Jersey last month. Although the love-life coaches we spoke to showed respect for the abrasive-matchmaker-turned-reality-star (after all, Stanger is credited with hundreds of marriages), they were not so quick to quash curlies:

“Curly hair or straight hair is not the point. Men fall in love with women who love men—women who make them feel attractive, strong, and confident. What men want more than anything is to be the hero. It’s actually really easy to get a man to fall in love with you, if you just start treating the men in your life the same way you treat the women in your life. We’re always telling women how funny they are, that they’re so smart, they’re amazing! But for some reason, we’re reluctant to give men the same compliment because we’re fearful they’re going to take our power away. We need to show love and not be afraid of getting hurt—and get the walls down.”—Julie Paiva, CEO, Table for Six Total Adventures

“I think curly hair is wonderful. Yes, some people are not attracted to women with curly hair. Maybe the guy dated a girl with curly hair in high school and she broke his heart and he’ll never date another girl with curly hair. But I don’t think your hair has a lot to do with what you’re looking for in a relationship. Whether your hair is curly, straight, blond, brunette, redhead, you should go for it!”—Paul Falzone, CEO, The Right One/Together Dating

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11.29.2008
Gutsy Writer
I forgot to say, I have curly hair, and half the time I leave it curly, half the time straight.
11.29.2008
Gutsy Writer
I loved your comment, "It’s actually really easy to get a man to fall in love with you, if you just start treating the men in your life the same way you treat the women in your life." I'm now 51, but this is the best advice I've ever read. Most men are really so easy to please, and for some reason, we don't always give them the same as we want back from them-- kind words and love. Thanks for a great article.
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