Sometimes the success or failure rates of relationships seem as prone to chance as the flip of a coin. Why is it, for example, that a vegan fitness freak can happily couple up with a couch potato and two people who like all of the same bands hate everything else about each other? What dictates satisfaction in a relationship? It seems like levels of attraction, personality matching, and similar goals all play a role, but in the end, even these things aren’t always enough.
Some believe that our compatibility is determined before we meet and even before we know our own names. Using birth order as a personality indicator is yet another way in which we can attempt to figure out our relationships and ourselves. With the constant influx of relationship advice out there, could something as simple as our roles within families make or break a harmonious union?
Singled Out: The Only Child
People who grew up without siblings were the sole recipients of their parents’ attention, which may explain their tendencies to be self-focused and highly motivated to the point of being perfectionists. Males set high standards for themselves career-wise and are driven to succeed independently, while females feel more comfortable listening to the advice of others before acting. They mature quickly and find it difficult to share attention, possessions, and so forth.
The only child may fare better with a partner who is used to catering to the wishes of others, since he or she is used to being demanding with positive results. Delia*, a social worker (and youngest child) in her early twenties, had a difficult coupling with an only child. “He was really emotionally needy and self-absorbed in the relationship,” she shared. “It was always about how he felt.” Someone who has older siblings might be a better match for sibling-less people because he is used to being bossed around and catering to the wishes of someone else before himself, which is what the only child has come to expect.
Babying a Baby: The Youngest Child
Those who are the youngest in their families are social by nature and find comfort in being around others. They are creative, energetic, thrive on attention, and are daring in their pursuits. They can also be rebellious or competitive as a result of being compared to their older siblings for most of their lives. Because they’re the youngest, they tend to be spoiled, or at least expect to be spoiled, and can mature less quickly than others.
