Just about every women has a friend that is “too picky” when it comes to men. Some women won’t even risk a date with a man unless he meets a very long list of requirements. Other women are always breaking up with men who seem wonderful because they find faults in them that even their closest friends can’t see.
I put “too picky” in quotes because, for the most part, I think that it is good to have high standards when it comes to men. Women certainly shouldn’t be willing to settle for just anyone, but there are some areas where you may unwittingly be ruling out nearly all of the male population before you even give them a chance to show that they aren’t half bad. Here are some areas that you may want to rethink if they are deal-breakers for you:
He Has No Style: I hear women complain all the time about men having no style. The truth is that most men don’t care about style. It is an incredibly rare man who can look put-together without the help of a women and men that do, often have the money to shop at stores that will help them put together a look that works well for them. Unless you’re a true fashionista, it can be comforting to know that if your man doesn’t have much sense of style, he will also not notice if you accidentally pair up those black shoes with a purse that is actually navy blue once you see it in the sunlight.
He’s Immature: Now of course there are many degrees of maturity and immaturity, but I know many women that write this one off too quickly. If a man is so immature that he doesn’t want to work or doesn’t want any type of commitment, these are big problems. If your guy is merely a “big kid,” then keep in mind that most men are big kids. Once you accept that, you may even see that a lot of the fun times you have together are because it doesn’t phase him to act a little immature sometimes. The alternative is a man who is too serious, and most women don’t want that either.
He Doesn’t Listen: Men aren’t great listeners, so if you rule them out early on this one, you will probably eliminate 99 percent of them. If a guy deliberately cuts you off every time you speak, then that is a problem, but typical not listening carefully (as carefully as a woman) is not usually a big deal over time. Eventually you will learn how to make him listen to the things that are most important to you. You’ll also learn to overlook that expressionless “uh huh” that you get when you tell him something that guys can’t understand, like how the tone that your coworker uses when she says she likes your outfit really tells you that she hates it.
So, it’s fine to have standards, and everyone has a list of must-haves in mind before they even consider dating someone. If you have a few critical items on your list, then you should be fine. If your list is a few pages long, or if it is filled with things that are often thought of as “typical guy characteristics,” then you may indeed be too picky.
