Have you noticed that men seem to be taking a new “lazy approach” when it comes to dating these days? First and foremost, I am a big proponent of men; I adore them and think they are quite the characters. But I have definitely noticed a more scaled-back trend taking place among men and I attribute it mostly to women’s behavior, although there are many reasons for it. Bottom line, when it comes to dating, women make it too easy for men these days, and as a result, men are laying low and not working as hard for us (like they used to) because they don’t have to!
Why are women doing this? Whether they are desperate, afraid of being alone, anxious to settle down because their biological clock is ticking or have low self-esteem, women who are coming from a place of need have a tendency to jump the gun when it comes to dating. What’s the end result? A missed opportunity for a possible long-term relationship, and almost as bad, a loss of dignity.
Let’s take a look at the ways in which we, as women, can help to turn this cycle around to create a win-win for both men and women alike.
Let the man lead. It is so important to let the man lead the way. It will enable you to know if he really likes and is truly interested in you. That means when he doesn’t call, you don’t call, email or text him. That means you don’t approach or ask him out; let him do the asking. If he leaves you a message saying he will call you back, let him call you; do not call him. If he calls you and doesn’t leave a message, don’t call him. A missed call is just that—missed. He didn’t leave a message for a reason. Be patient and let it unfold.
Remain mysterious. We all like a challenge and men especially do; it’s in their nature. Don’t take that away from them. There is a happy medium where you can comfortably sit between being too anxious and too available. Your goal is to find that happy medium. Once you do, act this way—always. Make it a part of your lifestyle.
Keep it light. When you are out with a guy, especially on the first few dates, keep it light. Don’t talk about serious topics such as religion, marriage or children. Stay in the moment and keep it simple and in turn, men will view you as sensible and not be scared off.
Live a full life. Busy women are more attractive to men because it shows them that you are not dependent on them for your contentment. Your world does not revolve around them and this couldn’t make them happier. We feel the same way when it comes to men. We don’t want someone to structure their life around us; it’s just not attractive. The goal is to find the perfect balance of “can’t wait to see you” and autonomy.
Don’t sleep with him too soon. This is crucial. You need to allow a man to connect with you on an emotional level first. Once that is established, you will have a better sense of knowing that he really likes you for you and is not just solely in it for the sex. Far too often, women make the mistake of sleeping with a guy very soon after meeting him to “win him over.” Bad idea. If a guy likes you, he will a) not want to sleep with you right away as he will be too busy and excited getting to know you and b) wait until you are ready. A man is not going to respect you if you don’t respect yourself. Not sleeping with him sends the message that you won’t allow yourself to be used because you think too highly of yourself. By holding off, you also weed out the guys who are interested only in sex, which maximizes your time and gets you closer to the relationship you are looking for. Some women get into a bad habit of trying to emotionally detach as a way to have casual sex without guilt. This is not only unhealthy, but will not help you to get the true relationship that you are looking for.
