As online dating services seem to be the powerhouse fueling the dating scene these days, it’s easy to feel you’re lost in the plentyoffish.com sea, so to speak. How do you get noticed without being a supermodel or a porn star? Sorry guys, but women do not want to see your naked torso as a profile photo.
Maybe your online profile doesn’t need a total makeover, but some of the suggestions below can help bump your profile from “Land of the Lost” into the “She’s All That” category.
The Heart of the Matter
Developing an attention-getting profile takes time and effort, as do choosing the best username, headline and profile photos. Do a little research and see what the “competition” (I say this lightly) has on their profile. Do you like what they have to say? Do their photos seem to represent them in a positive light? If you were the opposite sex, would you date them?
Creating a profile is on the level of writing a resume. On average, most jobs don’t last more than five years. You’re looking to make a connection that will last a lifetime. You want to take care in preparing and writing a winning profile that presents your best self.
What is it you want the world to know about you? Because when it’s on the internet, the world sees it. I suggest you spend some time organizing your thoughts. Use a notepad to jot down some notes about what makes you special. What desirable attributes, values, interests and hobbies do you have? The idea is to show someone what a fun and interesting, full life you have, even without a mate at your side.
Most online dating sites have “questions” to help you fill out your profile. Some will have starters such as, “What I’m doing with my life …” or “I’m really good at …” Use these as launching pads for fleshing out a Profile Template (an all-about-me document). I suggest you create it in a Word document for cut-and-paste ease and I strongly urge you to use spell-check. You’d do it for your resume. Also, most dating sites have similar questions to help you build your profile, that’s why having a profile template at the ready is so useful.
I know some of the sites have you list attributes, qualities and values that your preferred mate would have, but I recommend bucking the laundry list trend. You want to stand out as extraordinary, right? The best thing that you can write in these sections is what you have to offer. Basically, repeat your list about you. If you think that integrity, playfulness and health-oriented are what you want most in a mate, you should be able to offer those in return.
Keep it simple and keep it real. Honesty is still the best policy. Though, remember that this is not the place to ruminate about your terrible ex’s or delve into your skeleton closet. Also, there is no need to write a dissertation on your Star Wars collectibles, as much as you love them. You want to elicit interest from your profile yet keep it balanced with just enough intrigue. Think of it this way, you want them to know just enough to ask you questions. It gives them the ability to engage you in a conversation.
Speak positively about yourself and life in general. You want to exude self-confidence. We are attracted to people who embody it. Let your profile show the world that you are passionate about life and you’re not trying to fill a void with a mate, that in fact it’s just the opposite. You are looking for that special someone with whom you can share your life with and vice-versa.
Once you’ve completed your Profile Template, email it to a friend for review.
What’s in a Name?
A lot can be said about you from the username you choose. A username can elicit a smile, a smirk or sometimes even a look of total revulsion. Choose carefully! A good rule of thumb is to combine a positive, light-hearted adjective with a noun that has something to do with your interests. Let’s say you like sailing; “SmoothSailing” would work. Maybe you’re a Mensa genius who loves to bake and “SmartCookie” suits you. For the more adventurous, who like using verbs, “FallingforYou” is a nice play on words for someone who likes skydiving. Whatever you choose, make sure it’s something you’d be proud to tell your mom. Anything with sex, sexy or four-letter words are in bad taste. Remember, you want to put your “best” you forward.
