Passive aggressive behavior is probably on most people’s list of annoying qualities in another person. Scratch that, passive aggressive behavior usually falls into the category of legit reasons to banish someone for your life. I have never been pro passive aggression; in fact, I get rather peeved when someone pulls the hot/cold routine on me. I think my thoughts on passive aggression and its unfailing ability to make any situation worse is probably shared by most of you. Over the past week or so I have posted on the complexities of friendship, especially girlfriendship, and many of you commented that the tendency for girls to engage in passive aggression was one of the number one reasons you did not pursue female friendships. I was totally on board with this popular sentiment until I realized that not only have I been acting all passive aggressive myself this week, but I was glad I had.
It’s challenging to truly define passive aggressive behavior. I am sure there is some official definition, but it manifests itself so differently in people that one woman’s form of passive aggression is another woman’s normal behavior. Though it’s hard to pinpoint what specific gestures, expressions, words, or silence qualifies as passive aggressive, the one constant characteristic is that you know the person is pissed at you. I tend to think of passive aggressive behavior as silent anger since the anger is being expressed, but in a roundabout way. Fighting is never pleasant, but passive aggression is particularly nagging as the person denies that they are angry, but you know they are. You want to shake them and force them to admit what was really on their mind. He or she clearly has something to say, so why won’t they? Indeed, passive aggression is like nails on a chalkboard to the person on the receiving end of the icy blast, but can it actually be a blessing in disguise?
I have been developing a theory, one which I am sure is going to get a good deal of negative reaction, but here it is: a little bit of passive aggressive behavior is a good thing.
