I never thought I would become one of those people.
You know, the people who fight with their significant others. Girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses. Why can’t they just speak civilly?
My parents have been married for over thirty years, and for the first time, I have glimpses of what its like to feel such frustration that I can understand why people who never thought it would happen to them, decide to get divorced.
Romantic relationships are so passionate, and so fraught with deep emotional issues, that when things crack, they expose molten lava that is hard to suppress. We expect our significant others to understand us better than anyone else, to “get” us, and to be sympathetic and patient at all times. We forget they, too, are human.
We all get into bad moods, for whatever reason, we feel the ebb and flow of life’s events. We feel pressure, tension, stress, and anxiety. These moods control how we interact with those around us, and too often our significant others get the brunt of the wildfire.
This is probably where the frustration comes in. On both sides. We want to be treated perfectly at all times by the one we love. But too often, not listening, taking the person for granted, and shortness and interrupting can prevent true communication. And the fighting escalates as discussions are picked apart, blame is assigned, tears, and resentment ensue.
How can we be patient with our loved ones even when we want to assert ourselves and what we want? Sometimes it’s better to step away when you want most to yell. Most likely you can discuss calmly later, after you’ve taken the dog for a walk, or taken a nap.
We love who we love for a reason and its best not to forsake that mystical, inexplicable connection by bickering and pettiness.
