One Lump or Two? Six Fun Coffee Dates

When planning your first date locale, grabbing a simple cup of joe at a trendy spot could be the key to success. Going for a cup of coffee might seem like a boring old standby, but it’s a great way to learn more about your date in a casual setting, without the pressure of eating a full meal or downing alcoholic drinks.

According to a 2006 national dating survey of more than 300 singles by Strategy One, 90 percent of singles feel more relaxed having a first date at a familiar location. The survey also found that many of the singles (42 percent) prefer to keep the encounter brief, and almost one-third (32 percent) look for a place that makes it easy to end the date quickly.

If you don’t have a favorite coffee shop in mind, ask friends and family if they have one they’d recommend. You might want to go online to a site like Citysearch where you can search coffee houses in your area and read honest reviews about the location’s atmosphere.

Coffeehouses aren’t all the same, though. Depending on your preferences, you might want one with a quiet setting, board games, or live music. Here are some of the benefits of going to each of these.

No-Frills Coffee Shop
  • Benefits of going here: This location will likely be peaceful, a great atmosphere where you can talk and actually hear your date’s answers. If you like to find out as much as possible about your love interest in a simple setting, this is the ideal place to go.
  • Why it might not work: If you and your date can’t find much to talk about, and those painfully awkward silences are getting longer, there’s nothing to do but watch the barista wipe down the tables.
Coffee Shop with Games
  • Benefits of going here: Some coffee shops have board games or playing cards on hand for customer use. This is a fun and playful way to get to know your date better. If your date is willing to play a game, practice a little flirting over the friendly competition.
  • Why it might not work: If your date is very competitive and a sore loser/winner, it could ruin the date. But, hey, at least you’ll know this quality early in the relationship and you can decide for yourself if this is the person for you.
Coffee Shop with Live Music
  • Benefits of going here: Music provides entertainment and a distraction and gives you something to talk about right away. Call ahead to find out what kind of music will be performed the night/day you’ll be visiting the shop.
  • Why it might not work: The music might be too loud or it could be something you and your date are not enjoying. The coffee shop could be crowded if it’s a popular local performer and there might not be enough places to sit. Call the shop before you set up the date to find out if there’s a musician who’s more popular than others and if they suggest you should get to the location thirty minutes before they start performing.
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01.05.2011
Vanessa Brunner
I agree with Harriet--live music tends to make for awkward shouting matches as you try to get to know eachother. But I love coffee dates otherwise. It's so informal, it doesn't really feel like a date, just a casual "hang out." I think it makes each person less nervous, and it's a little easier for them to see the real you.
01.05.2011
Harriet M
I don't think going to a coffee shop with live music is such a good idea for a first date, since there's not as much opportunity for conversation and getting to know one another. Games sounds really fun, though.
If I had ever been asked out on a coffee date once in my life, I would certainly use these tips.
10.24.2009
dan brown
okay, my 2 cents. i agree with coffee. its low key, low pressure and you can talk to the person. do you really think you can judge a person by what they order. the person who gets a black coffee may be lactose intolerant and a wild person. no correlation whatsoever in my opinion. now, if you talk drinks, that is a much different story. oftentimes, how a woman orders a drink is a good indication of the type of person she is. is she indecisive. does she already know. does she care at all. does she fluctuate. does she try new things. does she drink at all. they all point to different personality traits.
10.14.2009
Ken
According to what our users at Leftos.com say, this is definitely a better option then the more common movie and dinner. The majority of our users strongly feel that dinner puts you face to face with someone and can make things uncomfortable. Particularly forced conversations that are not. A movie does not provide you the chance to with each other at all. To read more of their suggestions feel free to check out the discussion here http://www.leftos.com/forum/view/89
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