Five Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas from Edward Cullen

Well, Valentine’s Day is coming up and if you are like me you have no idea what to get your imaginary girlfriend. Here is an idea; why not imitate the most desirable man on earth and give her something he would give? “Great idea, but who is this guy? He seems unreal.” Guess what? He is! According to every girl I have talked to who has read the Twilight series, Edward Cullen, a fictional vampire, is the most romantic, sexy, and attractive man they know. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “I have never read the books or seen the movies how can I be like Edward if I know nothing about him?” Don’t worry four hours ago I was just like you, I did not know a thing about Twilight, but I have just watched both movies back to back and I become the most romantic non-vampire in America. I practically have a PhD in romance now and am ready to indulge you with my “expert” advice.

For those of you who are not familiar with the story, Edward Cullen is a kid from the Harry Potter movies who is bitten by a vampire named Lord Voldemort and then moves to Forks, Washington where he is adopted by a vampire family. He later falls in love with a human girl named Bella Swan, who moved to Washington to live with her father because she got kicked out of Arizona for being too pale. “Sounds great, so what now? Should I cover my body with glitter and always walk in slow motion.” Ha ha! No, don’t be ridiculous, but you will need to get a crowbar. 

Break in to her house and watch her sleep  
This is a cute romantic gift you can give at any point in the relationship especially if it’s just starting. Can’t take your eyes off your newest crush? Here is an idea, break into her house and watch her sleep. Edward Cullen does this right after he meets Bella. He sneaks into her room, stands right next to her bed and just stares at her for hours, it is so romantic. He does this not just for a few minutes, but for 8 hours every night for months and months. See this is where normal perverts and voyeuristic weirdoes get this wrong, they only watch girls sleep for about an hour and maybe once or twice, what total freaks!

3 readers liked this story.
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02.10.2010
Bijani Mizell
What a hilarious story! Truly funny. I never realized how creepy Edward Cullen is! Still cute though ...
02.10.2010
Sofia
Even though I admit I love the books, this is hilarious!!!
It feels good to write.

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