Everyone has to make decisions throughout their daily lives. It’s unavoidable. What clothes to wear, how to fix your hair, walk or drive. Simple decisions. But what if those decisions aren’t so black and white? What if they are decisions that affect your direction in life? How do you go about making them?
I have a difficult decision I have to make. One I have made before, but always do a 180 and reverse that decision days or even months later. This decision has to do with my boyfriend I have been with on and off for ten years. We’ve been together more than apart. I love him, but I don’t think I am “in” love with him anymore. He has been with me through some of the hardest times of my life, understands that hurt and betrayal more than anyone else I know. But I feel we are going in two different directions in life.
We live in Northern California where the recession has hit the hardest, and currently, we are both unemployed. I lost my job a year ago, and he’s been out of work for three years. It’s been tough on both of us, and I admit, I am very depressed about it. To the point, my mood is really hurting both of us.
I feel as if there is more out there for me than living in a small Nor Cal town. I feel as if I want to fly away from here and him to find myself again, and go back to my home state. I write in a journal to try to keep my feelings in check, but the more I write, the more I feel I need to get away. The more I feel I need my family around me to help keep me grounded.
